1. Be happier by removing yourself from the centre of your imaginary universe.
2. Stop allowing yourself to be hurt by social media.
You can do this by understanding you are the one doing the hurting, not the social media.
We have been blaming new technologies for centuries – but that doesn’t fully cut it. We also need to take personal responsibility by controlling our own behaviour and knowing our own triggers. If you feel bad about your body image, stop following accounts that tell you to look different. If you continue, you are, in effect, choosing to hurt yourself. The purveyors of said accounts should stop purveying, ideally, in my ideal imaginary world… But while we continue to create a lucrative market for them why would they?
3. Reduce your involvement in arguments by not starting them and not taking part in them.
4. Reduce your irritation at people who are ‘wrong’ by reminding yourself that everyone else also believes they are “right”.
And maybe you are “wrong”. And maybe use the word “mistaken”?
5. Reduce your road rage by understanding that people just make mistakes, or have stuff going on, or are tired, grieving, or upset.
Not everyone on the road is an as&+ole. And sometimes, it might look to others as if you’re the ash&le. I appreciate that it’s a hard one to admit though, having been the one that has definitely looked like the ash%le…
6. Live longer by not doing things that will kill you.
We all think we are immune to disease. We all know half of smokers will die from smoking but that we’ll think we will be in the other half. We’ll think that of all the people who text while driving we are the better multitaskers.
We are not.
Understand that you are as fragile as your neighbour, or the person in that tragic accident you heard about last week.
7. Be aware that most of what you think isn’t true.
8. Lower your blood pressure (and self-loathing) by not taking things personally.
Remember that people have feelings in our presence. Not necessarily because of our presence. If our partner or friend is in a bad mood, let them be in a bad mood. It will pass. This is the essence of good boundaries – it can be tricky to get the hang of, but it’s worth it!
9. Diffuse potentially explosive situations quickly by saying sorry.
IF and only if you are responsible for a wrongdoing or for causing pain. Equally, consciously avoid saying sorry if you are certain that you’ve done nothing wrong.
10. Have better arguments by pausing before you answer a question in an emotionally charged situation.
11. Sleep more
12. Say “I don’t know” more often
13. De-stress by understanding that “No” is a complete sentence
and that you are allowed to use this awesome sentence even with people who have done things for you. It is not your job to do everything. And you can do this without justifying or explaining – indeed that weakens your “no” or worse, can sound manipulative.
14. Clear your lovely head of guilt by asking yourself if you’ve actually done something wrong.
15. Allow mistakes
For you, and for others.
16. Energise yourself by surrounding yourself with nice people.
17. Feel better every day by treating yourself as well as you would a friend.
HEALTH WARNING – these are tips, just that. If you like the sound of them, and you decide to try them, and you get it “wrong” or forget – that’s no excuse for beating yourself up!
