Separated and Dreading Christmas?

| Sally O'Reilly
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Not everyone loves this time of year.

Maybe you have a friend or family member who is dreading it. Maybe you are dreading it.

Maybe you, like a lot of people, are facing into Christmas as a separated parent. How can you be sparkly and happy when you feel like you’re on the floor, struggling to find order in the debris of a broken relationship? Everything around us tells us that family is king, happiness rules and life is one big gift-wrapped bundle of glittery joy! It’s a cheerfest – that’s for sure! And really, MUST they keep playing Mariah Carey???

When Christmas is difficult
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What am I, now that I have lost my child? Lost for a word…

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It’s October again. Already. Infant and pregnancy loss awareness month as designated by Ronald Reagan in 1988.

How quietly it’s slipping by, unbelievably we’re nearly half way  through. And still,  not much has been said. Same as every year. Is it par for the course? Because child loss is one of the many things we don’t talk about – that we “bear” in stoic silence and secret, private agony. One would think, given the outpouring of concern for women and their babies in recent years that there would have been more said this month. Or maybe it’s because so much has already been said – maybe there is a collective compassion fatigue? Are we just exhausted from it? Because loss is exhausting, there’s no doubt about that. Or maybe there are just too many other things going on this month – it certainly has been busy in the media.

Is it that?

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Parenting a Leaving Cert Student?

| Sally O'Reilly
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Ahhh the stress… Poor things.

And so I wrote this piece for FamilyFriendly parenting website – click to read it. But FIRST I’d like to say this:

Stress is not only normal, but essential, despite our modern distaste for uncomfortable emotions. Good #Mentalhealth is not the absence of #stress, it is the better management of stress.


We cannot eradicate or sanitise exam stress for our children – nor should we. It’s a part of life, much as we hate to bear witness to it!

And in case you missed it I posted this piece for students themselves a couple of weeks ago – a teen in your life might find it helpful!

Stressed out Student
Sttttrrrrresssss

Watch this space for more in the lead up and aftermath of the state exams.

Good luck to all!!

#parenting #leavingcert2019 #managingstress #resilience#tipsforstress #coping #wemustntraisecottonwoolkids

10 Little Tips For You and Your Grieving Child this Christmas

| Sally O'Reilly
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Christmas has a way of jerking those tears right out of us doesn’t it? It’s a time where the pressure to be happy is really on – HO HO HO! Jeepers. It’s a cheer fest, that’s for sure.  One that would make the calmest people want to gouge their own eyes out if they are also trying to cope with feeling of loss and loneliness. Feelings that don’t “match” with how we are ‘supposed’ to feel Christmas.

Here’s the thing though:

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Provocation – it’s a nasty word. Let’s get rid.

| Sally O'Reilly
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Today is the second 16Days of Activism for the Elimination of Violence Against Women. You may already be tiring of reading about it, I understand, but here’s my two cents if you can bear one more article. Even though I’ve said it before. I feel that strongly about it:

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So THIS is why witches smile so much!

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This week I heard, for the first time, the origin of the iconic witch-on-a-broomstick image – and it’s AWESOME!

Halloween background with witch flying in the skyI have often wondered what the whole broom thing was about. I idly mused that it might be a phallic thing. Then I’d dismiss that, assuming that my brain was going off trying to find sex at the bottom of everything –  I know, I know… #rollseyes #typicaltherapist…

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Should I Allow my Child to Drink on Junior Cert Results Night?

| Sally O'Reilly
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It’s a question that’s bothering parents all over Ireland today. Probably even more so this year as it falls on a Friday. Kids are coming home from school asking if they can go out, can they drink, can they drink at home? C’mon just the one?? You’re so boring… Everyone else has cooler parents… Can they have their friends over for a couple of cans – nothing too heavy, no spirits in fairness…

In fairness…

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Is Suicide Selfish?

| Sally O'Reilly
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Some people woke up this morning feeling dark, empty, hopeless. Maybe they didn’t sleep, again. They feel desperate, crazy even, from lack of sleep. Not being able to think straight, not even knowing that they’re not thinking straight. Some people today can see no value, no point in being alive. There is no joy, not even peace. A quiet mind would be enough. But how to get that…

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When Leaving Cert results are disappointing

| Sally O'Reilly
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So the results are out!

For many, I hope, today brings a sense of relief, achievement and celebration.

YAY!

But for some there is mild to utterly devastating disappointment.

For some, the LC results bring a sense of relief, achievement & celebration. Yay! But for others there is mild or utterly devastating disappointment. How to cope: #leavingcert19 #parenting share with another LC student or parent

DisappointingResults

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Managing “post-exam stress” – it’s a real thing!

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Well, that flew didn’t it??!

So, the exams are over and you’re thinking “Yay! Stress? Nah – done, distant memory, ‘be grand now!”

And it is done for some, but for others a new and unexpected stress has already kicked in. It’s a little trickier than pre-exam stress, because the people around you might assume all students are now the embodiment of Zen and relaxation, because technically the exams are over.

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