When you can’t have a traditional funeral it’s a cruel, double loss. This is where we are now.
If you have been drawn to this post then perhaps you have just suffered a terrible loss, and won’t get to celebrate your loved one’s life and mourn your loss with the funeral that you and they might have wanted.
And if that is so, I’m sorry.
This post is about why funerals matter, what might be different without one, how that might affect you, and ways to help yourself through it.
Good evening all. I’m guessing many of you, like I, have just watched Leo Varadker’s address to the country. It is indeed a challenging time. And what I take from it is we are to do our best to adhere to the guidelines as they still stand.
Most of what we’re seeing this last fortnight has been a mixture of horror stories and humour, the kind we Irish are particularly good at in times of adversity. Good old fashioned denial has its place.
There is a lot of talk of romance and relationships at this time of year isn’t there? I usually aim for submitting a piece here or somewhere online about Valentine’s Day before the actual day – kinda missed the boat on that one this year!
But actually, to be honest, I think I did that on purpose… subconsciously at least. Because I see Valentine’s Day as having too great a potential for acting as a glossing over, a box ticking exercise much like some of the other Hallmark Days we celebrate. Don’t get me wrong – I LOVE a bit of slushy mushy romance! My hubby got me a stone from my favourite beach and painted a heart on it and that was me gone weak! Utterly!
A lot of us apparently. But did you know that the idea that today is “the most depressing day of the year” was completely fabricated by PR company who were employed by a travel company in 2005? In fact a lot of mental health myths were created by PR companies but that’s for another blog post. With regard to this one:
“The formula was devised to help a travel company “analyze when people book holidays and holiday trends,” said Alex Kennedy, spokesperson for Porter Novelli, a London-basedPR agency.”
Christmas has a way of jerking those tears right out of us doesn’t it? It’s a time where the pressure to be happy is really on – HO HO HO! Jeepers. It’s a cheer fest, that’s for sure. One that would make the calmest people want to gouge their own eyes out if they are also trying to cope with feeling of loss and loneliness. Feelings that don’t “match” with how we are ‘supposed’ to feel Christmas.
Maybe you have a friend or family member who is dreading it. Maybe you are dreading it.
Maybe you, like a lot of people, are facing into Christmas as a separated parent. How can you be sparkly and happy when you feel like you’re on the floor, struggling to find order in the debris of a broken relationship? Everything around us tells us that family is king, happiness rules and life is one big gift-wrapped bundle of glittery joy! It’s a cheerfest – that’s for sure! And really, MUST they keep playing Mariah Carey???