The Alarming Teen Identity Crisis

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So here’s a new one – well, new for me anyway.

Every year there’s a new trend in school. Teens assert their social positions and maybe elbow a few peers off their pedestals on the way. It’s nothing new of course – a rite of passage, a task of adolescence. Normal. We all know what that looked and felt like when we were in school. We all remember (and some still feel) the pressure to keep up with trends. To avoid certain labels, to emulate others…

It’s tough going – remember? (Do try – because remembering will help you navigate your teen’s development. I know it was literally the last century ago but take a breath – see what comes up as you read this…)

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What are we teaching our teens?

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It was a Friday, and I was sitting on a desk in a school classroom, all excited. Friday had become my favourite day of the week, not because weekend, but because that was the day to deliver my personal development and sex education class to a bunch of sparkly bright teenagers. Fun guaranteed!

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Dear exhausted women – stop asking for help(!!)

Women baking
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I know this is the exact opposite of how I normally speak but here’s the thing: when it comes to parenting and housework,  I’d really love women to stop asking for help!

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We are the adults – annoying isn’t it?!

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We know so much more than we used about the teen brain and it’s fascinating! We have solid evidence which tells us why teens are impulsive, why they need to hear boundary messages repeatedly to learn, and why it’s so, so much fun for all of them to break rules.

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Hello Guilt, my old friend…

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I’ve been meaning to talk about guilt for some time now.

It just keeps coming up. I hear the word everywhere – don’t you? “Oh I feel so guilty now but sure I’ll eat less tomorrow…” or “Oh I can’t not go I’d feel awful “, “Addicted to Netflix? LOL – me too – guilty as charged!”

We’re joking, but we probably mean it. We feel guilty.

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What’s a boundary anyway?!

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We’re trying to buy a house at the moment and there’s been a lot of talk about boundaries. It’s a word I just can’t seem to get away from at the moment! Maps, walls, elections, referendums, therapy … Clear boundaries are crucial to smooth transactions, good legislation, good mental health – the list is long. And gets longer the more you think about it!

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Are we going on the lash today lads?

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Begorrah and Top o’the Morning etc – ’tis Paddy’s Day! (Sincerest apologies to those who hate calling it that and hate those phrases….)

Whatever you call it, it’s here – Woohoo!!!

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Forget Resolutions – try these instead!

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When a journalist contacted me last year for some quick “Be happier by—” tips for a piece she was doing on the dreaded New Year’s resolution tradition I was not thrilled. I’m really not a huge fan of New Years’ Resolutions.
But then I thought well,  hmm… “Be Happier by -” That’s FAR better than “Be miserable, unrealistic and give up stuff I love up by – “.  And so I replied to her with a list, she wrote the piece and I thought – that’d make a nice little post on my own blog some day. Then in true New Year’s fashion, I forgot all about it!

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“Not puréeing your loved ones – that’s the tricky part!” – Basil Fawlty

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OK, so a lot of us will be joining family for ‘The Dinner’. And for a lot of us that’s super cool and lovely and something we look forward to and truly relish.

For some of us though, that dinner is the most 'Hell' part of Christmas. Sitting with, eating with and spending time with people that drive us nuts, push our buttons, trigger us....at worst, we are sitting with people that are harmful. tweet to another dinner eater

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