My Daughter is Distressed: A Q&A

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Sometimes a parent mails me with a query about their anxious child.

Last week I received such a query. Her particular issue is such a common one at the moment (ungrateful nod to COVID!) that I asked permission to publish both her question and my response. There can be so much isolation, pressure and even shame around parenting that it can come as an enormous relief to find that another parent shares your experiences!

And of course these difficult feelings are exacerbated hugely in lockdown.

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Up to your neck in &*it..

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There’s a slurry pit. And woweee it stinks!

But y’know the way we get used to smells eventually…

You’re there, in the pit, with your family let’s say. You’re all in there together, up to your necks. You’ve tilted your head up and back to make sure you can breathe. It means you can’t see straight ahead but at least you can breathe. It’s getting tiring though, and your neck hurts. You can’t fully relax – if you do you might get lots of shit thrown at you. Worst case scenario you might drown. At the very least it might just get in your face and up your nose – ya, no, messy, not worth it.

So you stay still. You don’t make waves.

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Sexting – stuck on how to talk to your kids?

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Some of you will have read a piece on sexting a while back. Here’s the ‘how-to’ follow up.

So before we start into it, I want you to know that I do understand that some parents would rather stick a needle in their ear that talk about sex or sexting, even to each other! But the somewhat annoying reality it this – we are the grown ups and it’s our job to do this.

Otherwise porn will do it for you.

‘Nudes’ and ‘three-ways’ are already part of the vernacular for the average thirteen year old.

Can you remember being thirteen?

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Facing COVID19: resource packs and self-help guide

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Minutes ago I was wandering around the kitchen wondering what to write about for this week’s issue of the East Cork Journal. I fully intended to avoid the “C-word” but then I saw this article. I can’t resist a good mnemonic   – and when the author (Russ Harris, author of The Happiness Trap) then generously gave permission to share it – well, I couldn’t resist. So here it is, edited heavily, full version link below.

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Funerals in the COVID-19 era: Loss without Ritual

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When you can’t have a traditional funeral it’s a cruel, double loss. This is where we are now.

If you have been drawn to this post then perhaps you have just suffered a terrible loss, and won’t get to celebrate your loved one’s life and mourn your loss with the funeral that you and they might have wanted.

And if that is so, I’m sorry.

This post is about why funerals matter, what might be different without one, how that might affect you, and ways to help yourself through it.

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