My mother used to love brushing my hair. I remember my first hairbrush too – it was white, shell shaped and had gentle ridges in it. The bristles were soft and white. I can still remember the feel of it in my little hand as I sat in my pram in the garden, going back and forth over the bristles, watching the steps up to the house. Watching for her probably.
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There was a girl in my class in school that I was pretty tight with. She wasn’t my bestest-in-the-world friend but I liked her and spent a good deal of time in her house at weekends and such. Especially when I started smoking. I know, I know…
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I know this is the exact opposite of how I normally speak but here’s the thing: when it comes to parenting and housework, I’d really love women to stop asking for help!
Sometimes a parent mails me with a query about their anxious child.
Last week I received such a query. Her particular issue is such a common one at the moment (ungrateful nod to COVID!) that I asked permission to publish both her question and my response. There can be so much isolation, pressure and even shame around parenting that it can come as an enormous relief to find that another parent shares your experiences!
And of course these difficult feelings are exacerbated hugely in lockdown.
Continue readingIs your teen on a waiting list with a psychologist, therapist, counsellor or CAMHS? This might interest you.
I’m increasingly aware that there are many teens on therapy waiting lists, and that these lists are getting longer and longer…
Continue readingI saw this post on a friend’s feed. It’s grim stuff. Got me all annoyed and rolling my eyes.
And then I watched it a second time with my husband and it felt even worse.
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There’s a slurry pit. And woweee it stinks!
But y’know the way we get used to smells eventually…
You’re there, in the pit, with your family let’s say. You’re all in there together, up to your necks. You’ve tilted your head up and back to make sure you can breathe. It means you can’t see straight ahead but at least you can breathe. It’s getting tiring though, and your neck hurts. You can’t fully relax – if you do you might get lots of shit thrown at you. Worst case scenario you might drown. At the very least it might just get in your face and up your nose – ya, no, messy, not worth it.
Continue readingSo you stay still. You don’t make waves.
Some of you will have read a piece on sexting a while back. Here’s the ‘how-to’ follow up.
So before we start into it, I want you to know that I do understand that some parents would rather stick a needle in their ear that talk about sex or sexting, even to each other! But the somewhat annoying reality it this – we are the grown ups and it’s our job to do this.
Otherwise porn will do it for you.
‘Nudes’ and ‘three-ways’ are already part of the vernacular for the average thirteen year old.
Can you remember being thirteen?
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We know so much more than we used about the teen brain and it’s fascinating! We have solid evidence which tells us why teens are impulsive, why they need to hear boundary messages repeatedly to learn, and why it’s so, so much fun for all of them to break rules.
Continue readingMinutes ago I was wandering around the kitchen wondering what to write about for this week’s issue of the East Cork Journal. I fully intended to avoid the “C-word” but then I saw this article. I can’t resist a good mnemonic – and when the author (Russ Harris, author of The Happiness Trap) then generously gave permission to share it – well, I couldn’t resist. So here it is, edited heavily, full version link below.
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