They used to get help… now they get likes


I saw this post on a friend’s feed. It’s grim stuff. Got me all annoyed and rolling my eyes.

And then I watched it a second time with my husband and it felt even worse.

One of our first responses was – hmm a lot of people are bemoaning the state of the US. Which I get, I do. But … is this solely a US phenomenon? Nope, it’s not.

You’ve heard the phrase “Hurt people hurt people”? This is such a great example of how that plays out…

At first glance this is a smart, observant, sharp – albeit incredibly harsh and nasty – critique of how so many of us behave now. We’ve become so self-absorbed, so narcissistic that it’s difficult to feel we’re on the receiving end of something authentic. We (rightfully) doubt things, we check for facts, assume photoshop, assume sponsership deals, assume fakeness, suspect virue signalling, we look for the ‘angle’, the secret deal to which we’re not privy…

We’ve become suspicious, and even as I type this I’m thinking we HAVE to be suspicious because we are being lied to





Cosmetics advertising, cars, porn, clothes – we’re being sold these things using lies – lies we want to hear and want to believe. Promises of healthier more beautiful reflections and lives. Lives others will envy. Lives where we can feel happy, loved, satisfied, safe…

Authentically fabulous lives!!

God. What a f*&^in’ crock of nonsense. Isn’t it??

So here’s the video – you’ll be amused, enraged, maybe ending up saddened. That was my trajectory anyway.

This sentence stood out for me the first time I heard and the second time I heard it I wrote it down:

“But today in 2020…instead of receiving help, he receives likes…”

(3mins 40 seconds in). Wow. The accompanying footage and all the previous and following footage took on a brand new flavour for me when I heard that.

What’s driving this alleged narcissistic behaviour? We crave each others’ approval and acceptance. We crave authenticity. We crave connection and acknowledgement. And in a world where there are so many arguments and fights for identity, what’s a person to do but fight to achieve their own and have their wants and needs heard?

Actually – isn’t that kind of what I’m doing right now? Wanting to share how this video landed on me? Wanting to steer people away from complaining and bitching towards understanding and learning about things like empathy and tolerance – things I crave myself as a normal (right?) human being?

Why did I write this note? I suppose it’s because I want to influence too. But not in a million likes perfect smile and flowing hair sort of way. I’d just like us to stop bitching and ask this one simple but profoundly important question more often:

What need might that person meeting by behaving that way??

There is a need driving every behaviour. A need for love, freedom, power or fun.

Think they’re enjoying the swim??

So now I’m going to re-watch that video and exercise a little compassion for the guy who made the video who, I’m guessing, is just sad, depressed and heartbroken to find so much evidence of inauthenticity. And also compassion for the people he filmed who are so desperately in need of ___________, well, take your pick.

AND, finally, I’ll try to focus on the people that are out of focus in those clips. They are living their “authentic lives”.

ps: I just figured out how to use RSS feeds so you may be reading this having opened an (automated) email from me. From now on, every time I post something it’ll be mailed out – I haven’t done a mailshot in quite a while! I hope you enjoy my posts but if not, you can unsubscribe below.

And if you found it another way and want to sign up for future posts, maybe a book announcement…just pop your email address in the form there! Thank you.

Warm and healthy wishes, Sally

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