People (well, some people) are losing their sh*t over this (in my opinion) GREAT ad.
People (well, some people) are losing their sh*t over this (in my opinion) GREAT ad.
This week I heard, for the first time, the origin of the iconic witch-on-a-broomstick image – and it’s AWESOME!
I have often wondered what the whole broom thing was about. I idly mused that it might be a phallic thing. Then I’d dismiss that, assuming that my brain was going off trying to find sex at the bottom of everything – #typicaltherapist…
But hurrah for the radio! I caught a snippet of an interview on NewstalkFM where a guy was talking about witches, broomsticks and female masturbation. I missed most of it but my interest was piqued, naturally, so I decided I’d try the Google machine. It didn’t take much to find a few pieces written on this topic. Those witches – what amazing women, and what fun they had! When they weren’t being shunned, mistreated and murdered for being, well, women.
From our modern viewpoint, female drug use and sexual pleasure are not quite so shocking as in the middle ages. Although it could be argued (and I do argue it, all the time) that people still seem to have enormous difficulty with women enjoying sex as much as men. Dare I say even more? The female arousal experience is one I’d love for men to experience – oh yes guys, you are missing out. Apparently though, we all have similar orgasms – apart from ours being longer (a lot longer, but it’s not a competition so I won’t go on about it. But if it were, we’d win, just saying).
But I digress…
In enlightened and civilised circles, female enjoyment of sexuality is now seen as liberating. But witches were “invented” at a time when a woman choosing to do what she wished with her own body or mind was so unthinkable as to be synonymous with the devil himself. This might have echoes of a more recent discussion we had here in Ireland. Sometimes, OK often, I shudder at how little has changed.
In the “olden days” as we well know, women were tortured and killed because they dared to explore such personal liberties. And as we also well know, that still happens, although not here thankfully. Not in the literal sense at least.
“Double, double toil and trouble
Fire burn and cauldron bubble” – Macbeth IV, i
You might be wondering – what has this has got to do with broom sticks?
Well, it turns out that the historical depiction of witches riding broomsticks has its origins in hallucinogenic plant pharmacology. Shakespeare knew this, but the indigenous knowledge predates him.
Hallucinogenic compounds called tropane alkaloids are produced by several plants:
You’ll have heard of some of these and their effects. During the Middle Ages, parts of these plants were used to make erm… ointments… for witchcraft, sorcery and other nefarious activities. Somewhere in their evolution, these crafty ladies discovered that these ointments could be absorbed through the armpits or via the mucous membranes of the anus or vagina – also bypassing intestinal discomfort which might y’know, ruin the mood.
According to Mann, the earliest clue comes from the case of Lady Alice Kyteler (1324):
“In rifleing the closet of the ladie, they found a pipe of oyntment, wherewith she greased a staffe, upon which she ambled and galloped through thick and thin.”
And from the 15th century records of Jordanes de Bergamo:
“But the vulgar believe, and the witches confess, that on certain days or nights they anoint a staff and ride on it to the appointed place or anoint themselves under the arms and in other hairy places.”
October. It’s infant and pregnancy loss awareness month as designated by Ronald Reagan in 1988.
Did you know?
What strikes me this week is how quietly it’s slipping by, we’re nearly in November. And not much has been said. Is it par for the course? Child loss is one of those things we don’t talk about – that women (and men) often “bear” in stoic silence and secret, private agony. One would think, given the referendum and outpouring of grief and concern for women and their babies that there would have been more said this month. Or maybe it’s because so much has already been said – maybe there is a collective compassion fatigue? Are we just exhausted from it? Because loss is exhausting, there’s no doubt about that. Or maybe there are just too many other things going on this month – it certainly has been busy in the media.
Is it that?
I was talking my niece who lives in Australia last week. We whatsapp regularly which is great, but we have only small windows during which we’re both awake and alert enough to be super witty and entertain each other – or indeed support each other as the need arises. (We’re only 8 years apart for anyone who might be concerned I’m leaning on a child for my entertainment and emotional needs!)
Just hours to go guys! (Like you don’t know…)
I’ll keep this simple and not link to supporting evidence – but, as with my last on Leaving Cert tips, know that I have it if you’re interested:)
1: Read the question (practice HOW here – that will make sense when you open it!) – you’ll know you understand it if you can rephrase it.
2: Underline key words.
3: Draw out a plan for your answer – scribble any names, dates, formulae you’ll need immediately.
4: Think of the invigilator as a helper, not a disciplinarian. Their job is to assist you in doing your best.
5: Think of the person assessing your paper as trying to help you get the best marks, not take them away from you. These people want you to do well. Help them to help you by being clear and simple.
6: Avoid the temptation to discuss the gory details of each paper afterwards, especially with the ones mentioned in that last piece.
7: Eat in between exams. Even if you’re nervous and feel a little – eating will help.
8: If you feel a panic coming on try this:
Squeeze every muscle in your body including your face all the way to your toes.
Hold tight for 3 seconds, and then flop eveything.
Place a hand on your tummy and take a deep breathe into it, past your chest, so your hand moves. Keep your shoulders low. Breathe until your breath has slowed to a speed in the gif below
Then do the squeeze again, hold for three, and flop.
This will help calm you down so that you can carry on. Don’t worry about other people seeing you do it. Firstly it’s discreet, secondly, they won’t be looking at you, you are the last thing on classmates’ minds right now, and that’s normal!
9: Reread all your answers and make any changes or additions necessary.
10: Check that you have answered as many Qs as required in each section.
When you’re done, pat yourself on the back knowing that you’ve just done one of the most difficult things in your life and that you’ve done your best.
That’s good enough!! (Yes it is!)
Good luck to you all – I wish you the very best that life has to offer – and that’s loads!!
“Are you f*&king serious?” she asks me, looking at me in that angry / scared / amused way that only teens can do. I like this girl, this young woman. She’s valiant, honest and has a righteous rage.
I am serious I tell her. Really serious.
Moments earlier she’d whipped out her phone to show me an article that she read on the way to my office. The grim headline read: Ireland has the highest rate in Europe for young girls taking their own lives
And I had asked her why she thought this was the case.
I was going to start by saying I don’t want to frighten you, but actually I do.
These are figures published today by CyberSafeIreland. Frightened yet?
Lots of people are doing a lot of talking (again) about setting rules for kids around their use of technology and that’s (still) a really good thing. But when are we actually going to do it?
Saying you're not tech savvy no longer cuts it - we all need to wake up and take responsibility for what's happening all around us, in our own homes #parenting #cybersafety #staysafe #tweens #teens Click To Tweet
We don’t have to look far to find examples of how tech is damaging (as well as enhancing) the lives of our kids – it leaks into everything doesn’t it? Nothing is untouched by tech these days – unless you are super strict and have none in your house.. in which case I guess you won’t be reading this..
While there is a lot written telling parents to set rules, there isn’t quite as much written about what exact rules to set. And so parents are still left scratching their heads somewhat – it’s not as if we can refer to what our parents did. We are still coming to terms with this shiny new toy ourselves!
So, this is getting serious. As adults, we need to cop on, set the rules and stick to them.
Starting off with rules and sticking to them is the way to go. Kids will not set their own boundaries, they are not equipped to do so and not only that, but they are relying on us to do this for them.
Several weeks ago a thirteen year old boy that I work with told me he’d been awake ’til 3am gaming – an over 18’s game, but that’s not the main point. The main point that struck me was this – he said he was exhausted. That he couldn’t concentrate in school. I agreed that he certainly looked tired. He said “Ya.. I know.. I wish my parents would notice that..”.
He said it would be easier for him if they just took his tech and set rules. That way he’d sleep better and be able to blame them when him gaming buddies whined that he wasn’t online. He thought it was nice that they trusted him but seriously – how could he resist the temptation??
Rules must be set, much as we want to communicate trust to our young people. One way to communicate that trust is to set rules, and then trust them to play ball.
My suggestion is pretty old school: write a list of rules, stick them up on a wall, or several walls and be ready to discuss in advance and then issue consequences (not necessarily punishments) for rule breakage. These consequences will be removal of privileges – tech related privileges will likely work best .
1. No phones (or laptops, tablets, iPads, iPods or TV’s) to be used in any way during meals. Ideally have a bowl or a box to temporarily chuck them into. Y’know, gently. Note your own discomfort with this idea (are you resisting it already??) This is where we need to model the behaviour we expect. If you don’t, you’ll look like a hypocrite to an acutely sharp teenage eye and also it will definitely get thrown into your face during a future argument! Phone etiquette is a modern social skill – we all need to adapt and learn it!
2. Homework first. Lots of houses have a rule where TV or whatever is turned on as soon as the school bag hits the floor – that’s certainly what happened in my house. My suggestion is though that access to tech happens only after homework and/or a small household job or two or done. This will have lots of benefits long term – your child will learn self-discipline, patience, and responsibility. It will also help them avoid the distraction and procrastination that goes with TV watching and it will enhance their enjoyment of said distraction when they finally get to it because nothing will be hanging over them. We need to teach relaxation and reward too!
3. Screens off at the same time every night. We know that the blue light emitted by screens, even small screens like phone interferes with the production of melatonin. This is bad news for sleepy time. And that’s bad news for pretty much everything from academic performance to overall physical and mental health.
(Goes for adults too… #JustSayin
4. Bedrooms should be tech-free zones. Two reasons for this –
Allowing your teen to have a TV in his bedroom will only encourage him to watch a lot of TV and it will be nearly impossible to monitor what he’s watching and how much TV he’s watching. Another idea is to have phones shut down at night and handed over to you until morning. There are thousands of kids all over the world texting and snapping into the small hours and wandering around like zombies the next day. You can prevent this. And they can blame you if they get grief from friends who didn’t get the replies they wanted late at night. Two birds, one stone.
5. And while I’m there, all mobile devices and non mobile devices should be used in front of you so that you can see what they are accessing and monitor for inappropriate content. It’s true that other parents may not be this vigilant, but at least while they are in your home you can protect them in this way. I’ve heard parents say that they’ll access stuff elsewhere so what’s the point?! This may well be true if your have a normal child! However, if they have an anchor to refer to – ie your rules- it’s more likely that they will be aware of what’s OK and what isn’t, even if they access it. And that’s a good thing.
6. I’ve mentioned before in a piece about sexting that having passwords to your child’s social media is really important. And again – they may have duplicate accounts, they may have spare phones – it happens! You can only do your best to teach this stuff and have these conversations.
As an aside, a friend of mine recently snapchatted a funny selfie to her 13 year old daughter’s friends which I thought was risky but genius! The daughter took it very well, surprisingly, not without eye rolling, but the real gold was this – now all the daughter’s friends know that her parents have access to her snapchat. Instantly reducing the risk of nastiness or inappropriate photos or comments coming her way.
Good isn’t it??!
Have conversations about security online, how to block people, how to limit/ restrict people and how to be wise about who to follow and who to friend. Now I know that clocking up millions of friends is what your child will want to do and there is a limit to what you can control but this is not a reason to avoid the discussion. As with everything, we need to anchor ideas and standards so that we can, and they can refer to them. And so that they can blame the strict annoying adults if they need a ‘get-out’.
7. Warn your kids not to disclose family information online. It can be embarrassing and shaming on a personal level (“My brothers girlfriend dumped him LOL”) and it can be unsafe (Excited for family trip to Florida tomorrow!) – the local burglar industry will be thrilled with that one!
Incidentally – I’ve seen adults do this too – do you?
So here y’go – feel free to print if you think it’s a fit for you family. Depending on the ages you may want to tweak here and there.
Finally, learn about the tech your child is using. I’ve mentioned this before when talking about sexting and I’ll continue saying it forever. Play their games, use their apps (that’s a piece I wrote after I discovered a child I knew personally was unwittingly putting herself out there) We the grown ups simply must know how stuff works. This will help keep your child safe.
So, we know that screen time is linked to obesity, sleep issues, violence, behavioural issues, social issues, educational problems as well as all the good stuff of course. Setting boundaries and rules around its use will benefit the whole family – especially if you get creative and come up with alternatives!
Good luck – it’s a challenge!