Funerals in the COVID-19 era: Loss without Ritual

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When you can’t have a traditional funeral it’s a cruel, double loss. This is where we are now.

If you have been drawn to this post then perhaps you have just suffered a terrible loss, and won’t get to celebrate your loved one’s life and mourn your loss with the funeral that you and they might have wanted.

And if that is so, I’m sorry.

This post is about why funerals matter, what might be different without one, how that might affect you, and ways to help yourself through it.

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Are you Grieving this Christmas?

sad girl in black and white
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Christmas has a way of jerking those tears right out of us doesn’t it? It’s a time where the pressure to be happy is really on – HO HO HO! Jeepers. It’s a cheer fest, that’s for sure. One that would make the calmest people want to gouge their own eyes out if they are also trying to cope with feeling of loss and loneliness.

Especially, with COVID.  Our second year now. We have feelings that don’t “match” with how we are ‘supposed’ to feel at Christmas.

Here’s the thing though:

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What am I, now that I have lost my child? Lost for a word…

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It’s October again. Already. Infant and pregnancy loss awareness month as designated by Ronald Reagan in 1988.

How quietly it’s slipping by, unbelievably we’re nearly half way  through. And still,  not much has been said. Same as every year. Is it par for the course? Because child loss is one of the many things we don’t talk about – that we “bear” in stoic silence and secret, private agony. One would think, given the outpouring of concern for women and their babies in recent years that there would have been more said this month. Or maybe it’s because so much has already been said – maybe there is a collective compassion fatigue? Are we just exhausted from it? Because loss is exhausting, there’s no doubt about that. Or maybe there are just too many other things going on this month – it certainly has been busy in the media.

Is it that?

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Is Suicide Selfish?

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Some people woke up this morning feeling dark, empty, hopeless. Maybe they didn’t sleep, again. They feel desperate, crazy even, from lack of sleep. Not being able to think straight, not even knowing that they’re not thinking straight. Some people today can see no value, no point in being alive. There is no joy, not even peace. A quiet mind would be enough. But how to get that…

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When Leaving Cert results are disappointing

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So the results are out!

For many, I hope, today brings a sense of relief, achievement and celebration.

YAY!

But for some there is mild to utterly devastating disappointment.

For some, the LC results bring a sense of relief, achievement & celebration. Yay! But for others there is mild or utterly devastating disappointment. How to cope: #leavingcert19 #parenting share with another LC student or parent

DisappointingResults

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Managing “post-exam stress” – it’s a real thing!

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Well, that flew didn’t it??!

So, the exams are over and you’re thinking “Yay! Stress? Nah – done, distant memory, ‘be grand now!”

And it is done for some, but for others a new and unexpected stress has already kicked in. It’s a little trickier than pre-exam stress, because the people around you might assume all students are now the embodiment of Zen and relaxation, because technically the exams are over.

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Exams? Hold onto your sanity with these 10 quick tips!

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Just hours to go guys! (Like you don’t know…sorry…)

I’ll keep this simple and not link to supporting evidence – but, as with my last on Leaving Cert tips, know that I have it if you’re interested:)

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The Dreaded Leaving Cert: A 10 Step Survival Guide

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It’s Easter Bunny time already and we all know what that means…

It’s an incredibly stressful time for students. The reality is hitting – no doubt bashed in by the orals and practicals – and the panic will be well and truly setting in for many of you this week.  The start of your last school hols – ever.

Oh how I don’t envy you…

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Are we going on the lash today lads?

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Begorrah and Top o’the Morning etc – ’tis Paddy’s Day! (Sincerest apologies to those who hate calling it that and hate those phrases….)

Whatever you call it, it’s here – Woohoo!!!

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