But y’know the way we get used to smells eventually…
You’re there, in the pit, with your family let’s say. You’re all in there together, up to your necks. You’ve tilted your head up and back to make sure you can breathe. It means you can’t see straight ahead but at least you can breathe. It’s getting tiring though, and your neck hurts. You can’t fully relax – if you do you might get lots of shit thrown at you. Worst case scenario you might drown. At the very least it might just get in your face and up your nose – ya, no, messy, not worth it.
This woman I know was having a tough week. A tough couple of years really. Then COVID swooped in with a giant hammer and sorta whacked in a few extra nails in the coffin of joy and personal freedom… You know, of course you do.
So when the 5km limit was lifted it became possible for this woman to get to a Cork shopping centre. She wanted to stock up on a few bits that just aren’t available in rural shops – so YAY! The excitement! Off she went, hopeful of a joyous adventure, freedom, autonomy – she was excited, and fearless. For the first times in months.
Minutes ago I was wandering around the kitchen wondering what to write about for this week’s issue of the East Cork Journal. I fully intended to avoid the “C-word” but then I saw this article. I can’t resist a good mnemonic – and when the author (Russ Harris, author of The Happiness Trap) then generously gave permission to share it – well, I couldn’t resist. So here it is, edited heavily, full version link below.
When you can’t have a traditional funeral it’s a cruel, double loss. This is where we are now.
If you have been drawn to this post then perhaps you have just suffered a terrible loss, and won’t get to celebrate your loved one’s life and mourn your loss with the funeral that you and they might have wanted.
And if that is so, I’m sorry.
This post is about why funerals matter, what might be different without one, how that might affect you, and ways to help yourself through it.
Christmas has a way of jerking those tears right out of us doesn’t it? It’s a time where the pressure to be happy is really on – HO HO HO! Jeepers. It’s a cheer fest, that’s for sure. One that would make the calmest people want to gouge their own eyes out if they are also trying to cope with feeling of loss and loneliness.
Especially, with COVID. Our second year now. We have feelings that don’t “match” with how we are ‘supposed’ to feel at Christmas.