Today is the second 16Days of Activism for the Elimination of Violence Against Women. You may already be tiring of reading about it, I understand, but here’s my two cents if you can bear one more article. Even though I’ve said it before. I feel that strongly about it:
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This week I heard, for the first time, the origin of the iconic witch-on-a-broomstick image – and it’s AWESOME!
I have often wondered what the whole broom thing was about. I idly mused that it might be a phallic thing. Then I’d dismiss that, assuming that my brain was going off trying to find sex at the bottom of everything – I know, I know… #rollseyes #typicaltherapist…
It’s October again. Already. Infant and pregnancy loss awareness month as designated by Ronald Reagan in 1988.
How quietly it’s slipping by, unbelievably we’re nearly half way through. And still, not much has been said. Same as every year. Is it par for the course? Because child loss is one of the many things we don’t talk about – that we “bear” in stoic silence and secret, private agony. One would think, given the outpouring of concern for women and their babies in recent years that there would have been more said this month. Or maybe it’s because so much has already been said – maybe there is a collective compassion fatigue? Are we just exhausted from it? Because loss is exhausting, there’s no doubt about that. Or maybe there are just too many other things going on this month – it certainly has been busy in the media.
Is it that?
I’ve been meaning to talk about guilt for some time now.
It just keeps coming up. I hear the word everywhere – don’t you? “Oh I feel so guilty now but sure I’ll eat less tomorrow…” or “Oh I can’t not go I’d feel awful “, “Addicted to Netflix? LOL – me too – guilty as charged!”
We’re joking, but we probably mean it. We feel guilty.
Gosh – it comes around so fast doesn’t it?!!
I was wondering what to post this year – and I found that I’ve done quite a few bits already and would probably wind up just repeating myself!! Plus the weather’s so lovely, y’know, at this very moment, so I really do want to get to the beach… (#practicewhatipreachetc)
So – if you’re in a reading /bookmarking-then-running-away mood here are links to my most recent “Happy Mothers Day – or maybe not??” on Family FriendlyHQ and “Are you a good enough mother?”) which you may have read before if you been signed up to my blog since last year. In both, particularly the latter, you’ll find links to others – all for the day that’s in it.
And just Twitter alerted my to this piece written by a new cyber friend – Emma Hayes. She writes
“I have ignored all the shelves – the ones I’d usually stop at – and ignored the adverts online and on the TV. If only my online searches could restrict Mother’s Day content, sure don’t they know everything about us? They listen in, yet, apparently, they haven’t heard that my mum is dead”.
A heartfelt, gorgeous piece.
Or maybe you’d rather just lie down after a feed of icecream??
All good! And well deserved no doubt! 🙂
BUT really – this pic really says all I want to say. Because today is brilliant!! But also not so brilliant – for nearly everyone. It really is a mixed bag.
So yes, take care of you today, whatever your circumstance.
“Will it change? Will we?”
That was a question asked of me by a gorgeous teenager a few weeks ago.
Apparently the answer is (quite literally) YES!!
I have a friend – well, I know and admire a woman who might yet be a friend – and this morning I woke to find an email from her in my inbox, with a recording attached. She’s a journalist and normally an email from her means she’s writing a piece and is interested in my professional opinion on the topic. We’ve been back and forth-ing for a couple of years and, as you do, we’ve been rearranging the boundaries a little more each time.
[bctt tweet=”SPOILER ALERT!!! If you’re concerned about this then answer is yes… #mothersday #parenting” username=”psychosal” prompt= “tweet to fellow mum”]
A friend and I used to write a blog together a few years ago now and this is where this post originally appeared – on Mother’s Day, 2015 (feels like last year – 2 years tops!!) Not a whole lot has changed since then when it comes to parenting and the gnawing fear of not getting it right (whatever “right” is!!). We are acutely aware of how much judgement is out there, and how it seeps into moms’ heads and hearts.
So for the day that’s in it, here it is again:
Ah, Mothers Day – a day to celebrate all that is Mother (or Mom, Mommy, Mama, Mam, Mum, or “*grunts!!” – depending on how your offspring refer to you).
We all know that parenting is one of the most demanding and difficult jobs there are – and there’s no training! (What’s that about?!). As you can imagine, there are lots of parents out there fretting, wondering if they’re doing it ‘right’.
If you’ve clicked on this you’re probably a mother (or know a mother), so we’ve devised a super-scientific questionnaire based on our collective 40 years’ personal and professional experience to help to decide whether or not you’re a ‘good’ mother.
Ready?
Here we go – be honest now!
Yay us – what a year! A lot has happened this year. A lot of it really, really terrible. We’ve talked about Weinstein, #MeToo, Rape Culture, Porn, Women and the church, our own entertainment industry and its grim history of sexual misconduct. Our next challenges are to respectfully debate Repeal the 8th, to continue to #changetheconversation, to keep up the momentum of reform for ourselves, our partners, our children. It’s clear that terrible things have happened.
But on the other hand:
It’s been pretty harrowing listening to today’s coverage of the case of domestic violence that culminated in the murder of a young mother. The man, who strangled his wife and allegedly threatened to kill her on more than one occasion is pleading guilty to manslaughter, not to murder. That’s one issue I have with this case.
The real issue I have, closely related, is that nature of his reasoning – he says he was ‘provoked’.
