“Genetics and epigenetics are important. Decisions – they are more important.” – HaleyBop
I’ve been pondering recently about the phrase “the apple never falls far from the tree”. We tend to have a lot in common with our parents of course – they are among the first to teach us how to be people! Assuming that the apple never falls far though isn’t always helpful. Sometimes it does fall far though – very far!
I have a bit of a fascination with the origins of words. As I grew up every new word I asked about was explained to me by my mother in terms of its origin – origin, from the Latin ‘Origo’, meaning beginning, source, rise. You get my drift…
The word ‘discipline’ originates from the Latin to teach, or instruct. When the Middle English folk came along it morphed somewhat into the punishment, ‘mortification’ scourge flavour we are more familiar with today.
And I find that the words discipline and punishment (from the French Punir meaning rough handling) are often used interchangeably. Which isn’t a great thing, because we now know that punishment isn’t necessarily a good way to discipline. So I prefer the original meaning of discipline, it’s more effective as a means of changing or adjusting behaviour in the long term. FAR more effective.
So I wrote a piece on the (real life and practical) differences between discipline and punishment, with some ideas on how to do the former more effectively.
You can read it here and I hope it’s helpful!
Every now and then I meet a child who has trouble with night-time monsters. Maybe you as a child had one (or a few!) under the bed, in the wardrobe, behind the curtains?
I was catching up on my Facebook messages earlier and this post sent to me by a friend really caught my eye. It’s a meme from one of those humour pages on Facebook. Judging by the comments it resonates with most people and they think it’s really funny! (It is too – I mean who hasn’t waited years for a plumber?!!)
Setting boundaries and creating rules that feel reasonable and workable is a real challenge for parents. In recent years, one of the toughest challenges is what to do with all the tech in our homes.
What exact rules can we set? Not just for tweens and teens – but for ourselves too?
This topic emerges on an almost daily basis for me – professionally but also socially. And so I wrote this piece as an offering of guidelines – they are just guidelines. There is no right or wrong, and every family is different. I’m hoping this piece might help and inspire you if you are finding it hard to decide what rules to set with your own kids.
In my next piece I’ll describe in more details how to decide what consequences to use when rules are broken – and as always please feel free to comment and give me your own tips!
83% of our suicides are men. Why is this?
Last year, Leinster and Ireland prop Jack McGrath helped to launch the IRUPA’s Tackle Your Feelings campaign by revealing that he had suffered in silence for five and a half years following the tragic death of his brother in 2010.
I have yet to meet a parent who is the paragon of zen, calm, smiling, constantly colouring, playing football, baking, laughing… The reality is a lot grittier. There is lots of fun yes! Of course! And in between the fun times, there are some boring times, and then times where it can be a struggle to feel calm, especially if your child is challenging you and pushing your boundaries.
“Is our relationship healthy? Is it normal? Are we OK?”
These questions come up all the time in therapy – actually, if you’re lucky, they come up over coffee with friends! You’ve maybe had those conversations, praying that your friends will say “Ya! – we fight more than you do actually – you have it sown UP compared to us!”.
Christmas can be wonderful and fun and festive! I do love it actually. Mostly.
And yes, Christmas can also be a difficult time. At best it’s somewhat stressful, and at worst, deeply, horribly painful.
