Well I never thought I’d see the day!

I just saw on Sexual Violence Centre Cork‘s page that the term “gaslighting” is the word chosen by Merriam-Webster as the word of the year 2022 with searches on its website for the word spiking by 1,740% in 2022.

A still from the 1940 film which made the word, well, a word!

What a thing to witness! What a cultural shift! In awareness at least – the behaviour certainly hasn’t disappeared. If anything, its ‘territory’ has expanded. But it’s always good to have the language for a phenomenon. It literally makes it easier to talk about it.

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A terrible Beauty

I was sitting with my husband outside a coffee shop in my hometown of Youghal the day before the much anticipated Ironman 22 last week. It was a glorious hot sunny day and we were basking in the excitement and pre-event buzz that was taking over the town. I felt a gorgeous huge pride and affection bursting out through my chest and I was loving every moment of it… This really was the perfect day. Just perfect. And everyone was happy, smiling and being lovely.

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I wish we had no International Women’s Day

You’ll see a lot of posts today giving you the grim figures about the gender pay gap (it’s real), physical assault in intimate relationships (it’s real, and it happens more to women), judgement on image (yes, real, and still happening more to women, and yes, even by women, I know, but please look at the “why” before using it as an excuse for poor behaviour), sexualisation (just look at almost every ad, ever), normalisation of violence against women in porn (please don’t tell me women enjoy it),the low representation of women in positions of power, authority, management, STEM jobs and so on, and so on… ad nauseum.

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Up to your neck in &*it..

There’s a slurry pit. And woweee it stinks!

But y’know the way we get used to smells eventually…

You’re there, in the pit, with your family let’s say. You’re all in there together, up to your necks. You’ve tilted your head up and back to make sure you can breathe. It means you can’t see straight ahead but at least you can breathe. It’s getting tiring though, and your neck hurts. You can’t fully relax – if you do you might get lots of shit thrown at you. Worst case scenario you might drown. At the very least it might just get in your face and up your nose – ya, no, messy, not worth it.

So you stay still. You don’t make waves.

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Understandable? Yes. Acceptable? Hmm…

Where do we draw the line when people treat us poorly?

This is a quandary faced by many. Particularly if we have a fear of hurting people or being rejected by them. We like to be liked. We need to be liked. But at what cost?

We tend to ruminate a lot on questions like “Why do people mistreat me? How can I make them change? What can I do differently?”

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Provocation – it’s a nasty word. Let’s get rid.

Today is the second 16Days of Activism for the Elimination of Violence Against Women. You may already be tiring of reading about it, I understand, but here’s my two cents if you can bear one more article. Even though I’ve said it before. I feel that strongly about it:

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Are we going on the lash today lads?

Begorrah and Top o’the Morning etc – ’tis Paddy’s Day! (Sincerest apologies to those who hate calling it that and hate those phrases….)

Whatever you call it, it’s here – Woohoo!!!

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Happy International Womens’ Day!

Yay us – what a year! A lot has happened this year. A lot of it really, really terrible. We’ve talked about Weinstein, #MeToo, Rape Culture, Porn, Women and the church, our own entertainment industry and its grim history of sexual misconduct.  Our next challenges are to respectfully debate Repeal the 8th, to continue to #changetheconversation, to keep up the momentum of reform for ourselves, our partners, our children. It’s clear that terrible things have happened.

But on the other hand:

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