Well I never thought I’d see the day!

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I just saw on Sexual Violence Centre Cork‘s page that the term “gaslighting” is the word chosen by Merriam-Webster as the word of the year 2022 with searches on its website for the word spiking by 1,740% in 2022.

A still from the 1940 film which made the word, well, a word!

What a thing to witness! What a cultural shift! In awareness at least – the behaviour certainly hasn’t disappeared. If anything, its ‘territory’ has expanded. But it’s always good to have the language for a phenomenon. It literally makes it easier to talk about it.

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A terrible Beauty

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I was sitting with my husband outside a coffee shop in my hometown of Youghal the day before the much anticipated Ironman 22 last week. It was a glorious hot sunny day and we were basking in the excitement and pre-event buzz that was taking over the town. I felt a gorgeous huge pride and affection bursting out through my chest and I was loving every moment of it… This really was the perfect day. Just perfect. And everyone was happy, smiling and being lovely.

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Be kind! No, wait, stop being kind??

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Mixed messaging much??

“Be Kind” is something we hear a lot growing up – especially, but not exclusively of course, women.

And kindness is so, so important. So basic, so simple. If everyone were kind, the events we are currently witnessing would simply be alien to us. There would be no Putins. I can (and do) dream…

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I wish we had no International Women’s Day

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You’ll see a lot of posts today giving you the grim figures about the gender pay gap (it’s real), physical assault in intimate relationships (it’s real, and it happens more to women), judgement on image (yes, real, and still happening more to women, and yes, even by women, I know, but please look at the “why” before using it as an excuse for poor behaviour), sexualisation (just look at almost every ad, ever), normalisation of violence against women in porn (please don’t tell me women enjoy it),the low representation of women in positions of power, authority, management, STEM jobs and so on, and so on… ad nauseum.

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Dear exhausted women – stop asking for help(!!)

Women baking
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I know this is the exact opposite of how I normally speak but here’s the thing: when it comes to parenting and housework,  I’d really love women to stop asking for help!

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Understandable? Yes. Acceptable? Hmm…

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Where do we draw the line when people treat us poorly?

This is a quandary faced by many. Particularly if we have a fear of hurting people or being rejected by them. We like to be liked. We need to be liked. But at what cost?

We tend to ruminate a lot on questions like “Why do people mistreat me? How can I make them change? What can I do differently?”

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Provocation – it’s a nasty word. Let’s get rid.

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Today is the second 16Days of Activism for the Elimination of Violence Against Women. You may already be tiring of reading about it, I understand, but here’s my two cents if you can bear one more article. Even though I’ve said it before. I feel that strongly about it:

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So THIS is why witches smile so much!

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This week I heard, for the first time, the origin of the iconic witch-on-a-broomstick image – and it’s AWESOME!

Halloween background with witch flying in the skyI have often wondered what the whole broom thing was about. I idly mused that it might be a phallic thing. Then I’d dismiss that, assuming that my brain was going off trying to find sex at the bottom of everything –  I know, I know… #rollseyes #typicaltherapist…

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