Must I identify as ‘something’ to be ‘someone’? a new teen crisis

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So here’s a new one – well, new for me anyway.

Every year there’s a new trend in school. Teens assert their social positions and maybe elbow a few peers off their pedestals on the way. It’s nothing new of course – a rite of passage, a task of adolescence. We all know what that looked and felt like when we were in school. The cool ones, the nerds, the swats, the dossers…

It’s tough going – remember? (Do try – because remembering will help you navigate your teen’s development. I know it was literally the last century but take a breath – see what comes up as you read this…)

It can be crazy fun, but also deeply, deeply painful – no matter where on the social ladder you are. Each rung brings its own victories pressures and miseries.

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Craving Touch

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My mother used to love brushing my hair. I remember my first hairbrush too – it was white, shell shaped and had gentle ridges in it. The bristles were soft and white. I can still remember the feel of it in my little hand as I sat in my pram in the garden, going back and forth over the bristles, watching the steps up to the house. Watching for her probably.

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My Daughter is Distressed: A Q&A

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Sometimes a parent mails me with a query about their anxious child.

Last week I received such a query. Her particular issue is such a common one at the moment (ungrateful nod to COVID!) that I asked permission to publish both her question and my response. There can be so much isolation, pressure and even shame around parenting that it can come as an enormous relief to find that another parent shares your experiences!

And of course these difficult feelings are exacerbated hugely in lockdown.

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8 Things to Call Yourself Out on

sunrise shanagarry , Cork Ireland
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(Gently but firmly …)

I saw a list of 8 bullet points on a meme last week on social media – Twitter if memory serves – and I saved it. Today I trawled my way through various rabbit holes in Google to find the original author and cannot, so I can’t credit appropriately, which always irks…

But I’m sharing them anyway! Because they’re good. I’ve added to them here and I think they’ll speak to many, as they did to me.

SO – without further ado:

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