I have yet to meet a parent who is the paragon of zen, calm, smiling, constantly colouring, playing football, baking, laughing… The reality is a lot grittier. There is lots of fun yes! Of course! And in between the fun times, there are some boring times, and then times where it can be a struggle to feel calm, especially if your child is challenging you and pushing your boundaries.
Some people are saying that the allegations about UCD male students posting “revenge porn” in a Facebook group with over 200 members is ‘unbelievable’. And as it turns out, the allegations went unsupported, there is no first hand evidence to support the claims.
For so many though, the story was totally believable. Some people still believe it, thinking – well can’t the evidence be deleted? Isn’t there sufficient shame around sexuality and sex crime to prevent victims from coming forward when invited, encouraged even?
One major piece that this has highlighted for me is this question: what made this story so believable? And I feel it’s because this happens now, we all know it. For any of us to say otherwise at this point is somewhat naive.
“Is our relationship healthy? Is it normal? Are we OK?”
These questions come up all the time in therapy – actually, if you’re lucky, they come up over coffee with friends! You’ve maybe had those conversations, praying that your friends will say “Ya! – we fight more than you do actually – you have it sown UP compared to us!”.
Wanna kill Christmas?
As we in TwoWiseChicks said in our last, we know it: this time of year is very difficult for some. With that in mind I was invited to write a piece for Voiceboks.com which is a great parenting site, and I was greatly honoured this year to be asked to be a feature writer for their site!
Christmas can be wonderful and fun and festive! I do love it actually. Mostly.
And yes, Christmas can also be a difficult time. At best it’s somewhat stressful, and at worst, deeply, horribly painful.
Well.. Ok.. there are probably many things they are not telling you but there’s one in particular we’re talking about here.
One of the benefits of having an almost crystal clear memory (of the horrors) of being an angst-ridden teen is that it helps when you’re an adult to empathize with teen concerns. And whatever your role, parent, teacher, therapist, when you’re trying to help, empathy is far more useful than irritation, helplessness, anger or frustration (speaking from personal experience, that is). You’ll probably be familiar with those feelings..?!
It’s always nice to hear from a previous client.
As therapists, we have a privileged opportunity to share a precious part of our clients’ journey through pain, crisis, vulnerability – but we usually do not get to hear about the “what happened next?”. Often, after the work is ‘done’, our minds wander back to our clients and we can only hope that things are going well. Hope that our relationship however brief, had some positive influence, that they are happier now. Continue reading
Make your bed!!
Now I know you’re not all teenagers reading this – and I have no wish to trigger memories of irritating parental demands, but I want you to make your bed.
And I have a really good reason for this. I believe you will feel better when your bed’s made.
It’s been something of a theme this month with client work, a sneaking sense of disorder, an un-ease. Maybe it has to do with settling back into an Autumn routine. A lot of us feel we are back to work, back to school, back to the damn Winter.
Here’s a quote I love: “When I became a man I put away childish things, including the fear of childishness and the desire to be very grown up.” – CS Lewis
I’m a supporter of all things colouring and make ‘n do – you may have deduced this from a quick glance at the pics I use on this site…You may also have noticed the new colouring craze for adults, and you can’t have not noticed the explosion in online gaming and so on.. Are we going back to play as our world gets more and more serious?
