We’re trying to buy a house at the moment and there’s been a lot of talk about boundaries. It’s a word I just can’t seem to get away from at the moment! Maps, walls, elections, referendums, therapy … Clear boundaries are crucial to smooth transactions, good legislation, good mental health – the list is long. And gets longer the more you think about it!
It’s Easter Bunny time already and we all know what that means…
It’s an incredibly stressful time for students. The reality is hitting – no doubt bashed in by the orals and practicals – and the panic will be well and truly setting in for many of you this week. The start of your last school hols – ever.
Oh how I don’t envy you…
OK, so a lot of us will be joining family for ‘The Dinner’. And for a lot of us that’s super cool and lovely and something we look forward to and truly relish.
[bctt tweet=”For some of us though, that dinner is the most ‘Hell’ part of Christmas. Sitting with, eating with and spending time with people that drive us nuts, push our buttons, trigger us….at worst, we are sitting with people that are harmful.” username=”psychosal” prompt=”tweet to another dinner eater”]
First the super good news: people are asking for Christmas gift therapy vouchers again this year and I think that’s amazing. It’s a sure sign that mental wellbeing is being taken more seriously than ever before and that therapy is being normalised. When I first started out in private practice this was one of my dreams and honestly, I didn’t think we’d get here.
But here we are!
[bctt tweet=”That said, I won’t sell vouchers for therapy. And here’s why: #therapyvouchers #therapy #selfcare #christmasgifts #boundaries #relationships” username=”psychosal”]
I’m a very happy bunny these days. When it comes to seeking support, there is a real sense of ‘normal’ taking hold in Ireland and this is incredibly heartening! We are finally “getting” that not feeling OK is OK, that asking for help is OK. We are fostering a ‘knowing’ that we have worth and that change is possible.
I was talking my niece who lives in Australia last week. We whatsapp regularly which is great, but we have only small windows during which we’re both awake and alert enough to be super witty and entertain each other – or indeed support each other as the need arises. (We’re only 8 years apart for anyone who might be concerned I’m leaning on a child for my entertainment and emotional needs!)
“Will it change? Will we?”
That was a question asked of me by a gorgeous teenager a few weeks ago.
Apparently the answer is (quite literally) YES!!
“Are you f*&king serious?” she asks me, looking at me in that angry / scared / amused way that only teens can do. I like this girl, this young woman. She’s valiant, honest and has a righteous rage.
I am serious I tell her. Really serious.
Moments earlier she’d whipped out her phone to show me an article that she read on the way to my office. The grim headline read: Ireland has the highest rate in Europe for young girls taking their own lives
And I had asked her why she thought this was the case.
[bctt tweet=”SPOILER ALERT!!! If you’re concerned about this then answer is yes… #mothersday #parenting” username=”psychosal” prompt= “tweet to fellow mum”]
A friend and I used to write a blog together a few years ago now and this is where this post originally appeared – on Mother’s Day, 2015 (feels like last year – 2 years tops!!) Not a whole lot has changed since then when it comes to parenting and the gnawing fear of not getting it right (whatever “right” is!!). We are acutely aware of how much judgement is out there, and how it seeps into moms’ heads and hearts.
So for the day that’s in it, here it is again:
Ah, Mothers Day – a day to celebrate all that is Mother (or Mom, Mommy, Mama, Mam, Mum, or “*grunts!!” – depending on how your offspring refer to you).
We all know that parenting is one of the most demanding and difficult jobs there are – and there’s no training! (What’s that about?!). As you can imagine, there are lots of parents out there fretting, wondering if they’re doing it ‘right’.
If you’ve clicked on this you’re probably a mother (or know a mother), so we’ve devised a super-scientific questionnaire based on our collective 40 years’ personal and professional experience to help to decide whether or not you’re a ‘good’ mother.
Ready?
Here we go – be honest now!
Yay us – what a year! A lot has happened this year. A lot of it really, really terrible. We’ve talked about Weinstein, #MeToo, Rape Culture, Porn, Women and the church, our own entertainment industry and its grim history of sexual misconduct. Our next challenges are to respectfully debate Repeal the 8th, to continue to #changetheconversation, to keep up the momentum of reform for ourselves, our partners, our children. It’s clear that terrible things have happened.
But on the other hand:
