Yesterday a guy explained to me that most women would be up for crying rape if they thought the guy they just had sex with had money.
Continue readingHappy (?) International Womens’ Day… I guess…
Women’s Issues
Nauseated
I was, still am a little, in two minds about posting this. But here it is. Over a week old. Because technology and I have a difficult relationship at present.. (as in, I hate it… and I think it hates me…) Maybe it’s best I had time to calm down. I’ve edited out some expletives…but
I am still nauseated by the ConorMcGregor story. Not just by what he almost certainly did, and his whiny rantings after being found liable. But also by the sadly predictable onslaught of misogyny directed at both his victim(s) – and his partner. No doubt in some sad corner of the internet someone’s blaming his mother…
Continue readingApologise wisely
“I’m sorry” – powerful words aren’t they?
The best thing about saying “I’m sorry” is that it does all of these things:
Continue readingWell I never thought I’d see the day!
I just saw on Sexual Violence Centre Cork‘s page that the term “gaslighting” is the word chosen by Merriam-Webster as the word of the year 2022 with searches on its website for the word spiking by 1,740% in 2022.
What a thing to witness! What a cultural shift! In awareness at least – the behaviour certainly hasn’t disappeared. If anything, its ‘territory’ has expanded. But it’s always good to have the language for a phenomenon. It literally makes it easier to talk about it.
Continue readingA terrible Beauty
I was sitting with my husband outside a coffee shop in my hometown of Youghal the day before the much anticipated Ironman 22 last week. It was a glorious hot sunny day and we were basking in the excitement and pre-event buzz that was taking over the town. I felt a gorgeous huge pride and affection bursting out through my chest and I was loving every moment of it… This really was the perfect day. Just perfect. And everyone was happy, smiling and being lovely.
Continue readingBe kind! No, wait, stop being kind??
Mixed messaging much??
“Be Kind” is something we hear a lot growing up – especially, but not exclusively of course, women.
And kindness is so, so important. So basic, so simple. If everyone were kind, the events we are currently witnessing would simply be alien to us. There would be no Putins. I can (and do) dream…
Continue readingI wish we had no International Women’s Day
You’ll see a lot of posts today giving you the grim figures about the gender pay gap (it’s real), physical assault in intimate relationships (it’s real, and it happens more to women), judgement on image (yes, real, and still happening more to women, and yes, even by women, I know, but please look at the “why” before using it as an excuse for poor behaviour), sexualisation (just look at almost every ad, ever), normalisation of violence against women in porn (please don’t tell me women enjoy it),the low representation of women in positions of power, authority, management, STEM jobs and so on, and so on… ad nauseum.
Continue readingDear exhausted women – stop asking for help(!!)
I know this is the exact opposite of how I normally speak but here’s the thing: when it comes to parenting and housework, I’d really love women to stop asking for help!
Understandable? Yes. Acceptable? Hmm…
Where do we draw the line when people treat us poorly?
This is a quandary faced by many. Particularly if we have a fear of hurting people or being rejected by them. We like to be liked. We need to be liked. But at what cost?
We tend to ruminate a lot on questions like “Why do people mistreat me? How can I make them change? What can I do differently?”
Continue readingProvocation – it’s a nasty word. Let’s get rid.
Today is the second 16Days of Activism for the Elimination of Violence Against Women. You may already be tiring of reading about it, I understand, but here’s my two cents if you can bear one more article. Even though I’ve said it before. I feel that strongly about it:
Continue reading