Bring true Christmas spirit into your family – with Santa’s help!

Photo Credit Ina Fassbender/Reuters
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Recently, in my local post office,  I found myself on the brink of boredom in a seasonably long queue. But then I noticed a bunch of excited kids clutching their Santa letters – maybe their first ever letter – maybe buying their first ever stamp! Such cuteness! The atmosphere was electric, the excitement deliciously contagious. I found myself smiling, I could practically smell the Christmas pudding… Continue reading

Can grown-ups write to Santa?

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If Christmas is in your life, then you will be very familiar with the idea of writing a letter to the big bearded guy. Can you believe it’s writing-to-Santa-time again – already?!

Typically, young kids’ letters are checklists of ‘wants’, along with parent-nudged-politeness like “Dear Santa, hope you are well and have had a good year”, or “I hope Mrs Claus is well” and, ideally, a “thanks so much for last year’s gift I LOVE it! )”

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Is you child’s behaviour your responsibility?

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“Genetics and epigenetics are important. Decisions – they are more important.” – HaleyBop

I’ve been pondering recently about the phrase “the apple never falls far from the tree”. We tend to have a lot in common with our parents of course – they are among the first to teach us how to be people! Assuming that the apple never falls far though isn’t always helpful. Sometimes it does fall far though – very far!

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How to discipline more effectively

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I have a bit of a fascination with the origins of words. As I grew up every new word I asked about was explained to me by my mother in terms of its origin – origin, from the Latin ‘Origo’, meaning beginning, source, rise. You get my drift…

The word ‘discipline’ originates from the Latin to teach, or instruct. When the Middle English folk came along it morphed somewhat into the punishment, ‘mortification’ scourge flavour we are more familiar with today.

Falling on deaf ears
Falling on deaf ears

And I find that the words discipline and punishment (from the French Punir meaning rough handling) are often used interchangeably. Which isn’t a great thing, because we now know that punishment isn’t necessarily a good way to discipline. So I prefer the original meaning of discipline, it’s more effective as a means of changing or adjusting behaviour in the long term. FAR more effective.

So I wrote a piece on the (real life and practical) differences between discipline and punishment, with some ideas on how to do the former more effectively.

You can read it here and I hope it’s helpful!

Sally O'Reilly Counselling & Psychotherapy

 

How to worry “better”

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It’s 4am. You’re exhausted, but sleep won’t come. You’re replaying a conversation you had earlier and coming up with things you could’ve said, clever things, better things… and now you worry about the consequences.

[bctt tweet=”Then you move onto that crack in the ceiling – what IS that? Is it settlement? What if it’s a sign that you’re house is built on a sinkhole? #worry #anxiety #4AMdemons #selfhelptips #selfhelptechniques #CBT #dontbelievewhatyouthink” username=”psychosal”]

As long as the thoughts are bad enough to trigger anxiety they get a place in your private 4am terror fest. Been there? Yes…same. It feels awful.

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Some rule-setting ideas for parents, teens & technology

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Setting boundaries and creating rules that feel reasonable and workable is a real challenge for parents. In recent years, one of the toughest challenges is what to do with all the tech in our homes.

 

What exact rules can we set? Not just for tweens and teens – but for ourselves too?

Technology in families: Sally O'Reilly Counselling & Psychotherapy

This topic emerges on an almost daily basis for me – professionally but also socially. And so I wrote this piece as an offering of guidelines – they are just guidelines. There is no right or wrong, and every family is different. I’m hoping this piece might help and inspire you if you are finding it hard to decide what rules to set with your own kids.

Click here for the full post!

In my next piece I’ll describe in more details how to decide what consequences to use when rules are broken – and as always please feel free to comment and give me your own tips!

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