Dear exhausted women – stop asking for help(!!)

Women baking
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I know this is the exact opposite of how I normally speak but here’s the thing: when it comes to parenting and housework,  I’d really love women to stop asking for help!

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8 Things to Call Yourself Out on

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(Gently but firmly …)

I saw a list of 8 bullet points on a meme last week on social media – Twitter if memory serves – and I saved it. Today I trawled my way through various rabbit holes in Google to find the original author and cannot, so I can’t credit appropriately, which always irks…

But I’m sharing them anyway! Because they’re good. I’ve added to them here and I think they’ll speak to many, as they did to me.

SO – without further ado:

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I am not unique, and sorry, but neither are you.

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Years ago I had one of those reality-dawning-horror moments. A friend of mine had died at the cruelly young age of 28. It was grim. Having spent a fairly normal amount of relatively comfortable time in denial I unexpectedly found myself being admitted for tests to ascertain whether or not I had developed the same cancer.

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Recharge your Relationship

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There is a lot of talk of romance and relationships at this time of year isn’t there? I usually aim for submitting a piece here or somewhere online about Valentine’s Day before the actual day – kinda missed the boat on that one this year!

Sally O'Reilly Valentine's Day

But actually, to be honest, I think I did that on purpose… subconsciously at least. Because I see Valentine’s Day as having too great a potential for acting as a glossing over, a box ticking exercise much like some of the other Hallmark Days we celebrate. Don’t get me wrong – I LOVE a bit of slushy mushy romance! My hubby got me a stone from my favourite beach and painted a heart on it and that was me gone weak! Utterly!

Spot the cat trying to steal it?!

But..

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Separated and Dreading Christmas?

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Not everyone loves this time of year.

Maybe you have a friend or family member who is dreading it. Maybe you are dreading it.

Maybe you, like a lot of people, are facing into Christmas as a separated parent. How can you be sparkly and happy when you feel like you’re on the floor, struggling to find order in the debris of a broken relationship? Everything around us tells us that family is king, happiness rules and life is one big gift-wrapped bundle of glittery joy! It’s a cheerfest – that’s for sure! And really, MUST they keep playing Mariah Carey???

When Christmas is difficult
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Provocation – it’s a nasty word. Let’s get rid.

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Today is the second 16Days of Activism for the Elimination of Violence Against Women. You may already be tiring of reading about it, I understand, but here’s my two cents if you can bear one more article. Even though I’ve said it before. I feel that strongly about it:

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What’s a boundary anyway?!

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We’re trying to buy a house at the moment and there’s been a lot of talk about boundaries. It’s a word I just can’t seem to get away from at the moment! Maps, walls, elections, referendums, therapy … Clear boundaries are crucial to smooth transactions, good legislation, good mental health – the list is long. And gets longer the more you think about it!

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Why I won’t sell vouchers for therapy

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First the super good news: people are asking for Christmas gift therapy vouchers again this year and I think that’s amazing. It’s a sure sign that mental wellbeing is being taken more seriously than ever before and that therapy is being normalised. When I first started out in private practice this was one of my dreams and honestly, I didn’t think we’d get here.

But here we are!

That said, I won't sell vouchers for therapy. And here's why: #therapyvouchers #therapy #selfcare #christmasgifts #boundaries #relationships Click To Tweet

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How to choose the ‘right’ therapist for you (or your teen)

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I’m a very happy bunny these days. When it comes to seeking support, there is a real sense of ‘normal’ taking hold in Ireland and this is incredibly heartening! We are finally “getting” that not feeling OK is OK, that asking for help is OK. We are fostering  a ‘knowing’ that we have worth and that change is possible.

Shame-free, guilt-free change.

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