I have yet to meet a parent who is the paragon of zen, calm, smiling, constantly colouring, playing football, baking, laughing… The reality is a lot grittier. There is lots of fun yes! Of course! And in between the fun times, there are some boring times, and then times where it can be a struggle to feel calm, especially if your child is challenging you and pushing your boundaries.
Some people are saying that the allegations about UCD male students posting “revenge porn” in a Facebook group with over 200 members is ‘unbelievable’. And as it turns out, the allegations went unsupported, there is no first hand evidence to support the claims.
For so many though, the story was totally believable. Some people still believe it, thinking – well can’t the evidence be deleted? Isn’t there sufficient shame around sexuality and sex crime to prevent victims from coming forward when invited, encouraged even?
One major piece that this has highlighted for me is this question: what made this story so believable? And I feel it’s because this happens now, we all know it. For any of us to say otherwise at this point is somewhat naive.
“Is our relationship healthy? Is it normal? Are we OK?”
These questions come up all the time in therapy – actually, if you’re lucky, they come up over coffee with friends! You’ve maybe had those conversations, praying that your friends will say “Ya! – we fight more than you do actually – you have it sown UP compared to us!”.
Well.. Ok.. there are probably many things they are not telling you but there’s one in particular we’re talking about here.
One of the benefits of having an almost crystal clear memory (of the horrors) of being an angst-ridden teen is that it helps when you’re an adult to empathize with teen concerns. And whatever your role, parent, teacher, therapist, when you’re trying to help, empathy is far more useful than irritation, helplessness, anger or frustration (speaking from personal experience, that is). You’ll probably be familiar with those feelings..?!
Every day, women (and men) are bombarded by messages on the TV, radio, print media including the internet telling us (and selling us) on how to change how we look. Unless you actually live under an actual rock you are bombarded by change-your-body messages maybe twenty, thirty times a day (?!!). All designed to sell you something. All disguised as “help”.
![medium_light-yogurt-skinny-small-78283[1]](http://sallyoreilly.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/05/medium_light-yogurt-skinny-small-782831.jpg)
Continue reading
Firstly let’s define sexting:
Sexting is the sending of a sexually revealing image of oneself or an explicit text using a phone, or other device that is connected to the internet. You will have heard about the celebrity photo leaks, most notably the recent Jennifer Lawrence leaks .
And last week we heard about SnapChat pictures being leaked.
Bullying is a hot topic at the moment. I’m not sure that it’s happening more than it used to, but I am sure that the ways in which we bully each other are more varied. All bullying can feel overwhelming, difficult to witness, difficult to control. And we can feel helpless, victimised along with the child.
As we know, the consequences can be devastating.
In this piece I’m offering some thoughts around the nature of bullying and how best to manage it. I give 5 steps that I’ve shared with many clients, with good results. So they’ve been tried and tested!
The full text is here, on Voiceboks parenting website (great for other parenting tips too!).
Meanwhile here’s a summary meme to give you an idea of the 5 steps. The full explanation of exactly how to carry out the steps is in the full piece. I hope you find it useful!
Sharon Ní Conchuir, a freelance journalist, contacted me with some interesting questions about the impact of technology on our relationships. It was interesting for me to revisit this subject with a different interviewer and offer some more tips on how we can better manage our online lives.
Q: What exactly is the lure of the internet and the various ways of communicating online? What is it that proves so seductive to people?
Yesterday I wrote about my depressing experience in a gym changing room where a little girl sucked in her tummy when she noticed me looking at (admiring) her.
Today, I’ve decided to suggest things we can collectively challenge in our society, things that hurt us and our children. I’m a big believer in taking action!
Here’s a little taster of where I’m going with this one:
