There was this young woman who was living with her partner and she decided that for their first Christmas together, she wanted to cook Christmas dinner the way her mother taught her. Partner, delighted, sat back and let her do the work and off she set, delighted with herself.
There’s a lot of talk of tradition at Christmas isn’t there?
The food, the shopping, the gifts, the visiting, the dreaded relatives…
But despite tradition, things always change. Usually without our consent. And some of those changes can be so jarring.
A friend recently asked me if I’d write a piece about loss and bereavement for Christmas. And something weird happened to me when he said it. I felt a block. I reflected on it on and off the past few weeks, wondering had my brain actually finally been emptied of words? Or worse, was it broken? Why wasn’t I flinging open my laptop to release the flow of unedited thoughts as I normally do?
Continue readingWishing you all a very Happy New Year!
F I N A L L Y … Can’t be much worse than the last!!
I’m left with a feeling of awe actually – at how we’ve managed to pull together and survive this, most of us. I’m sorry for those who have suffered loss – whatever form that loss took, and will continue to take.
So much loss…
As I type it’s Blue Monday. Who knew?!
A lot of us apparently. But did you know that the idea that today is “the most depressing day of the year” was completely fabricated by PR company who were employed by a travel company in 2005? In fact a lot of mental health myths were created by PR companies but that’s for another blog post. With regard to this one:
Continue reading“The formula was devised to help a travel company “analyze when people book holidays and holiday trends,” said Alex Kennedy, spokesperson for Porter Novelli, a London-basedPR agency.”
Gosh – it comes around so fast doesn’t it?!!
I was wondering what to post this year – and I found that I’ve done quite a few bits already and would probably wind up just repeating myself!! Plus the weather’s so lovely, y’know, at this very moment, so I really do want to get to the beach… (#practicewhatipreachetc)
So – if you’re in a reading /bookmarking-then-running-away mood here are links to my most recent “Happy Mothers Day – or maybe not??” on Family FriendlyHQ and “Are you a good enough mother?”) which you may have read before if you been signed up to my blog since last year. In both, particularly the latter, you’ll find links to others – all for the day that’s in it.
And just Twitter alerted my to this piece written by a new cyber friend – Emma Hayes. She writes
“I have ignored all the shelves – the ones I’d usually stop at – and ignored the adverts online and on the TV. If only my online searches could restrict Mother’s Day content, sure don’t they know everything about us? They listen in, yet, apparently, they haven’t heard that my mum is dead”.
A heartfelt, gorgeous piece.
Or maybe you’d rather just lie down after a feed of icecream??
Homework for today: Lie down and have a feed of icecream. Unless you hate icecream. Chocolate maybe? #whyisitduringlent #mothersday #motheringsunday #parentingishard Have a great day!! Tweet to another mum
All good! And well deserved no doubt! 🙂
BUT really – this pic really says all I want to say. Because today is brilliant!! But also not so brilliant – for nearly everyone. It really is a mixed bag.
So yes, take care of you today, whatever your circumstance.
SPOILER ALERT!!! If you're concerned about this then answer is yes... #mothersday #parenting tweet to fellow mum
A friend and I used to write a blog together a few years ago now and this is where this post originally appeared – on Mother’s Day, 2015 (feels like last year – 2 years tops!!) Not a whole lot has changed since then when it comes to parenting and the gnawing fear of not getting it right (whatever “right” is!!). We are acutely aware of how much judgement is out there, and how it seeps into moms’ heads and hearts.
So for the day that’s in it, here it is again:
Ah, Mothers Day – a day to celebrate all that is Mother (or Mom, Mommy, Mama, Mam, Mum, or “*grunts!!” – depending on how your offspring refer to you).
We all know that parenting is one of the most demanding and difficult jobs there are – and there’s no training! (What’s that about?!). As you can imagine, there are lots of parents out there fretting, wondering if they’re doing it ‘right’.
If you’ve clicked on this you’re probably a mother (or know a mother), so we’ve devised a super-scientific questionnaire based on our collective 40 years’ personal and professional experience to help to decide whether or not you’re a ‘good’ mother.
Ready?
Here we go – be honest now!
This was my response several years ago in the Irish Examiner who, not for the first time in my experience, appear to be confused as to which cause they are championing: The promotion and protection of women’s rights, or the war on womens’ self esteem via media driven unrealistic body image and portrayal. As a psychotherapist I witness daily the results of poor body image and low self esteem: self loathing, disordered eating, depressed feelings, social withdrawal.. I could go on.
These ‘symptoms’ are also presented by the sex industry workers with whom I have had contact.
Coincidence?
I was interviewed by the Health Supplement for this article which looked mainly at my work in Barnardos , as well as my private practice.
Sally O’Reilly, a child and family bereavement therapist with Barnardos, says children are good communicators once you learn their language. Sally feels there is less of a stigma attached to the idea of therapy for children.
This was published in the Irish Times and Irish Examiner and is my response to a discussion I heard on Today FM about a ‘glamour model’. This interview coincided with newly published figures on sexual assault in Ireland and I address the probable link between the glamour culture and objectification of women. Continue reading
