Forget Resolutions – try these instead!

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When a journalist contacted me last year for some quick “Be happier by—” tips for a piece she was doing on the dreaded New Year’s resolution tradition I was not thrilled. I’m really not a huge fan of New Years’ Resolutions.
But then I thought well,  hmm… “Be Happier by -” That’s FAR better than “Be miserable, unrealistic and give up stuff I love up by – “.  And so I replied to her with a list, she wrote the piece and I thought – that’d make a nice little post on my own blog some day. Then in true New Year’s fashion, I forgot all about it!

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“Not puréeing your loved ones – that’s the tricky part!” – Basil Fawlty

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OK, so a lot of us will be joining family for ‘The Dinner’. And for a lot of us that’s super cool and lovely and something we look forward to and truly relish.

For some of us though, that dinner is the most 'Hell' part of Christmas. Sitting with, eating with and spending time with people that drive us nuts, push our buttons, trigger us....at worst, we are sitting with people that are harmful. tweet to another dinner eater

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Helping your Grieving Child at Christmas

Grieving Child
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Christmas has a way of jerking those tears right out of us doesn’t it? It’s a time where the pressure to be happy is really on – HO HO HO! Jeepers. It’s a cheer fest, that’s for sure.  One that would make the calmest people want to gouge their own eyes out if they are also trying to cope with feeling of loss and loneliness. Feelings that don’t “match” with how we are ‘supposed’ to feel Christmas.

Here’s the thing though:

Grief doesn't take holidays. Broken hearts know neither hour nor date #parentingthroughgrief #bereavement #grief #selfcare #christmasstress #mentalhealth Tweet to someone who might like this

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Women – why you shouldn’t ask for help at home (!!)

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I know it sounds odd  – but there’s method to my apparent madness!

This is my latest for FamilyFriendlyHQ and if you’re a woman and feeling like you do more than your fair share of housework, then this might be for you.

As always – your feedback and comments (and tips) are warmly welcome. Happy reading!

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If you're a woman and feeling like you do more than your fair share of housework, then this piece might just be for you. #putthekettleon #relationships #boundaries #teachpeoplehowtotreatyou #housework share with a fellow housework-hater

Abusive relationships: know the signs

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It can be hard to know how to define abuse, and when we are ‘in’ an abusive situation, it can be hard to ‘see’ that it’s abusive. But you might have a niggling feeling, your friends or family may have expressed concern. Abuse can be lethal.

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The Twelve Pubs – had enough yet?

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I’ve been meaning to have a wee rant re the whole “Twelve Pubs” thing.

I know many young (and not so young) people who are about to go on this new-and-not-so-noble tradition of mass alcohol poisoning with a view to consuming at least one unit of alcohol per pub (X12) in a few short hours.

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Coping with Loss at Christmas

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Christmas, warm, fuzzy and fun as it is, can also be painful, lonely and sad. For many of us it’s all of these things together, swinging from one to the other, day to day, hour to hour.

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This piece is dedicated to those feeling loss around this time of year – particularly parents of younger children. Another piece will follow soon for younger people themselves. Sign up over on the right there to get an email from me when that’s posted (or scroll down to underneath this post if you’re on your phone) Don’t forget to check your junk mail to complete the sign-up!

 

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Christmas Sanity Guide Part 3: Self-care tips for YOU

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We all think of Christmas as a time for giving to others. And that’s nice, it  really is, but when did you last give to yourself? Not necessarily a material gift, but time to yourself or with a rarely seen loved one, fun, nurturing things?

We often forget about ourselves and fret instead about the people we love. Are we not allowed to love ourselves?

(Yes we are!).

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Christmas Sanity part 2: When Hell is other people

Christmas Stress
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So here’s part two of guide to staying sane for the holidays (part one here)

The social part of Christmas is fun.

Ideally.

It’s when we get to connect with old friends, family, maybe make new friends. It can be an incredibly nurturing time and full of genuine care and love. There’s nearly always an accompanying pressure though isn’t there? Like, how can I get to meet everyone? How do I choose who to meet? where to meet them? How do I tolerate the people I find difficult? How do I cope when I have to spend time with a person (or people) I usually avoid?

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