Sexting – the ‘new first base’

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Now I know that thinking about your child sexting is not on your list of fun things to do for the weekend… Continue reading

Parenting through a divorce or separation

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“Maybe you saw it coming, maybe you’re in shock. Either way, a separation is extraordinarily painful, even if it’s also a relief.

Sanity and loss aside, your worries will quickly turn to your kids – How will they cope? How will this affect their future relationships? Will they hate you or your spouse? Perhaps themselves? How will things change financially? How will things change?”

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How to discipline more effectively

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I have a bit of a fascination with the origins of words. As I grew up every new word I asked about was explained to me by my mother in terms of its origin – origin, from the Latin ‘Origo’, meaning beginning, source, rise. You get my drift…

The word ‘discipline’ originates from the Latin to teach, or instruct. When the Middle English folk came along it morphed somewhat into the punishment, ‘mortification’ scourge flavour we are more familiar with today.

Falling on deaf ears
Falling on deaf ears

And I find that the words discipline and punishment (from the French Punir meaning rough handling) are often used interchangeably. Which isn’t a great thing, because we now know that punishment isn’t necessarily a good way to discipline. So I prefer the original meaning of discipline, it’s more effective as a means of changing or adjusting behaviour in the long term. FAR more effective.

So I wrote a piece on the (real life and practical) differences between discipline and punishment, with some ideas on how to do the former more effectively.

You can read it here and I hope it’s helpful!

Sally O'Reilly Counselling & Psychotherapy

 

There’s something your teen isn’t telling you..

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Well.. Ok.. there are probably many things they are not telling you but there’s one in particular we’re talking about here.

One of the benefits of having an almost crystal clear memory (of the horrors) of being an angst-ridden teen is that it helps when you’re an adult to empathize with teen concerns.  And whatever your role, parent, teacher, therapist, when you’re trying to help,  empathy is far more useful than irritation, helplessness, anger or frustration (speaking from personal experience, that is). You’ll probably be familiar with those feelings..?!

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Helping to nurture your teenage daughter’s body image

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Do  you suck your tummy in when you think other people are looking at you?

Every day, women (and men) are bombarded by messages on the TV, radio, print media including the internet telling us (and selling us) on how to change how we look. Unless you actually live under an actual rock you are bombarded by change-your-body messages maybe twenty, thirty times a day (?!!). All designed to sell you something. All disguised as “help”.

 

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(That’s an ad for yogurt… ahem and erm…)

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Talking to teens about Sexting

A teenage boy asking you to leave
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Firstly let’s define sexting:

Sexting is the sending of a sexually revealing image of oneself or an explicit text using a phone, or other device that is connected to the internet. You will have heard about the celebrity photo leaks, most notably the recent Jennifer Lawrence leaks .

And last week we heard about SnapChat pictures being leaked.

Sexting
Sexting – the new first base

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Helping your child to deal with bullies – a 5 step plan

Bullying
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Bullying is a hot topic at the moment. I’m not sure that it’s happening more than it used to, but I am sure that the ways in which we bully each other are more varied. All bullying can feel overwhelming, difficult to witness, difficult to control. And we can feel helpless, victimised along with the child.

Bullying

As we know, the consequences can be devastating.

In this piece I’m offering some thoughts around the nature of bullying and how best to manage it. I give 5 steps that I’ve shared with many clients, with good results. So they’ve been tried and tested!

The full text is here, on Voiceboks parenting website (great for other parenting tips too!).

Meanwhile here’s a summary meme to give you an idea of the 5 steps. The full explanation of exactly how to carry out the steps is in the full piece. I hope you find it useful!

Ways to nurture your child’s self esteem.

Awesome Shaped
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Yesterday I wrote about my depressing experience in a gym changing room where a little girl sucked in her tummy when she noticed me looking at (admiring) her.

Today, I’ve decided to suggest things we can collectively challenge in our society, things that hurt us and our children. I’m a big believer in taking action!

Here’s a little taster of where I’m going with this one:

Self-Esteem
Self-Esteem

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Be careful what you say about yourself – your child is listening.

Self-Esteem
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I had an unnerving experience two days ago and haven’t quite yet recovered.

This thing happened in the changing room of my local gym.

Here’s a meme I made for the occasion. It might give you a clue as to where I’m going with this…

Self-Esteem
Self-Esteem

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