Not a week goes by that a therapist doesn’t hear about a client or a client’s friend self-harming. This is particularly true of therapists who work with teenagers – lately it feels like something of an epidemic.
After first hearing about self-harming behaviour – which usually takes the form of cutting, scraping, hitting or otherwise causing injury to the self – parents and friends usually react in one of two ways:
I think it was Goodfellas, definitely a mafia film, where I saw the following scene: This guy owed our hero, his friend, $10. Our hero was having a lot of trouble retrieving the money, he kept on trying but his ‘friend’ was creative with excuses.
We’ve all been there right?
Every day, women (and men) are bombarded by messages on the TV, radio, print media including the internet telling us (and selling us) on how to change how we look. Unless you actually live under an actual rock you are bombarded by change-your-body messages maybe twenty, thirty times a day (?!!). All designed to sell you something. All disguised as “help”.
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Did you know that friendships have an average shelf life of 7 years?
The ones that last longer are the deeper friendships that are truly nourishing and good. They are worth your investment, because the joy, fun, trust, encouragement and support outweigh the irritations, the upset, the clashes (which are normal). Even if you rarely actually see each other!
Firstly let’s define sexting:
Sexting is the sending of a sexually revealing image of oneself or an explicit text using a phone, or other device that is connected to the internet. You will have heard about the celebrity photo leaks, most notably the recent Jennifer Lawrence leaks .
And last week we heard about SnapChat pictures being leaked.
Bullying is a hot topic at the moment. I’m not sure that it’s happening more than it used to, but I am sure that the ways in which we bully each other are more varied. All bullying can feel overwhelming, difficult to witness, difficult to control. And we can feel helpless, victimised along with the child.
As we know, the consequences can be devastating.
In this piece I’m offering some thoughts around the nature of bullying and how best to manage it. I give 5 steps that I’ve shared with many clients, with good results. So they’ve been tried and tested!
The full text is here, on Voiceboks parenting website (great for other parenting tips too!).
Meanwhile here’s a summary meme to give you an idea of the 5 steps. The full explanation of exactly how to carry out the steps is in the full piece. I hope you find it useful!
Sharon Ní Conchuir, a freelance journalist, contacted me with some interesting questions about the impact of technology on our relationships. It was interesting for me to revisit this subject with a different interviewer and offer some more tips on how we can better manage our online lives.
Q: What exactly is the lure of the internet and the various ways of communicating online? What is it that proves so seductive to people?
Yesterday I wrote about my depressing experience in a gym changing room where a little girl sucked in her tummy when she noticed me looking at (admiring) her.
Today, I’ve decided to suggest things we can collectively challenge in our society, things that hurt us and our children. I’m a big believer in taking action!
Here’s a little taster of where I’m going with this one:
I had an unnerving experience two days ago and haven’t quite yet recovered.
This thing happened in the changing room of my local gym.
Here’s a meme I made for the occasion. It might give you a clue as to where I’m going with this…
SO, Jay-Z lied about his age – why does he care and why do we love that he cares?
This was a piece for which Chrissie Russell, freelance journalist with the Irish Independent interviewed me. She was interested in the revelation that Jay-Z lied about his age and more importantly – why anyone cares!
Read on the full text of our conversation
