I often hear people jokingly say “Aaah I have a touch of the SADS”. We moan about the greyness of winter, the long nights, the short days. We say our mood is ‘dark’, we hope for light ‘to be shed’ on things, we long for something to brighten our mood, we talk of Winter dreariness. We say it affects us, it’s built into our language. But does it really affect us?
We all think of Christmas as a time for giving to others. And that’s nice, it really is, but when did you last give to yourself? Not necessarily a material gift, but time to yourself or with a rarely seen loved one, fun, nurturing things?
We often forget about ourselves and fret instead about the people we love. Are we not allowed to love ourselves?
(Yes we are!).
So here’s part two of guide to staying sane for the holidays (part one here)
The social part of Christmas is fun.
Ideally.
It’s when we get to connect with old friends, family, maybe make new friends. It can be an incredibly nurturing time and full of genuine care and love. There’s nearly always an accompanying pressure though isn’t there? Like, how can I get to meet everyone? How do I choose who to meet? where to meet them? How do I tolerate the people I find difficult? How do I cope when I have to spend time with a person (or people) I usually avoid?
Sharon Ní Conchuir, a freelance journalist, contacted me with some interesting questions about the impact of technology on our relationships. It was interesting for me to revisit this subject with a different interviewer and offer some more tips on how we can better manage our online lives.
Q: What exactly is the lure of the internet and the various ways of communicating online? What is it that proves so seductive to people?
Yesterday I wrote about my depressing experience in a gym changing room where a little girl sucked in her tummy when she noticed me looking at (admiring) her.
Today, I’ve decided to suggest things we can collectively challenge in our society, things that hurt us and our children. I’m a big believer in taking action!
Here’s a little taster of where I’m going with this one:
I had an unnerving experience two days ago and haven’t quite yet recovered.
This thing happened in the changing room of my local gym.
Here’s a meme I made for the occasion. It might give you a clue as to where I’m going with this…
We have a lovely little castle with proper history that has been nicely converted into a 5 star hotel and in fairness, many celebrities have indeed stayed there. Disappointingly I missed, by mere minutes, an afternoon with a very sociable Bruce Springsteen last summer. And so when it became clear that the newlyweds, “Kimye”, (we can nickname them now ‘cos they’re practically locals) flew into Cork airport, Castlemartyr was the obvious choice destination. So we all went mad looking to confirm that we were hosting new sparkly guests, albeit briefly. It was most entertaining!
Grim figures released today by the NAPD (National Association of Principals and Deputy Principals) show an increase in over 30% in cyberbullying.
Grim figures released today by the NAPD (National Association of Principals and Deputy Principals) show an increase in over 30% in cyberbullying in a survey of Irish second level students.
Figures also show an increase of 5% in students admitting to bullying bringing the new figure to 9%. This is big news, with most papers reporting the figures and talk shows discussing the meanings of these findings in the lead up March’s bullying awareness month.
There are some basic things we can all do to combat bullying and if you are a parent reading this I encourage you to share this information with your son/daughter. If you are being bullied please, take note of these tips and report your experience to someone you trust.
Here are two particularly good sites that have dedicated space to cyber bullying: Do Something and Spunout , and I’ve also made a list of my own quick tips – I hope you find it helpful. You may also be interested in the #DeleteCyberbullying campaign. Their Twitter page is here:
This is serious business. Be mindful of what students are being exposed to. Educate yourself and protect yourself and them.
An article caught my eye on The Good Men Project last week: 30 Ways to Make Yourself Miserable (Along with Everyone Around You). Good title isn’t it? It’s a wordy one though, and being a fan of the bottom line I decided to make a meme and share it here, with kind permission from Lion Goodman, the original author. He even posted it on his site which is nice. Thanks Lion!
Far too many of us devise a long list of resolutions every New Year’s Eve. Many of them are good ideas, really good ones. Like quitting cigerettes, drinking less, eating more healthily, saving money, giving more time to study/ family/ friends, cutting down on road rage … Then you have a bad day, a stressful one. You allow yourself to indulge in just one smoke (sure what harm can ONE do??!), or a giant lump of salty saturated fat, a little tantrum…. then enter your three familiar companions: judgement, guilt and the feeling of failure…Well, you get the idea, you’ve been there no doubt!
So this year, I respectfully suggest we all keep it simple. So I’ll keep this short:
Picking realistic goals makes success more likely, and we feel good when we succeed. (Not rocket science, I know, and that’s what I like about it!).
Allow for mistakes, because changing a behaviour takes time, effort, and slip-ups. This is normal and OK. Guilt is unhelpful and unnecessary.
Accessing support is helpful too – changing a behaviour or starting a new one is a lot easier when we have company. Again, it’s not rocket science. So start thinking about who you know that may have similiar goals (or established expertise) or someone who is simply supportive of your desire to change. If you don’t know anyone in real life who shares your goals, you might find an online community, group or individual.
And bottom line, if you resolve to be kinder to yourself, then all else will fall into place more easily.
Happy New Year to you all!
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