Did you know that friendships have an average shelf life of 7 years?
The ones that last longer are the deeper friendships that are truly nourishing and good. They are worth your investment, because the joy, fun, trust, encouragement and support outweigh the irritations, the upset, the clashes (which are normal). Even if you rarely actually see each other!
I often hear people jokingly say “Aaah I have a touch of the SADS”. We moan about the greyness of winter, the long nights, the short days. We say our mood is ‘dark’, we hope for light ‘to be shed’ on things, we long for something to brighten our mood, we talk of Winter dreariness. We say it affects us, it’s built into our language. But does it really affect us?
We all think of Christmas as a time for giving to others. And that’s nice, it really is, but when did you last give to yourself? Not necessarily a material gift, but time to yourself or with a rarely seen loved one, fun, nurturing things?
We often forget about ourselves and fret instead about the people we love. Are we not allowed to love ourselves?
(Yes we are!).
So here’s part two of guide to staying sane for the holidays (part one here)
The social part of Christmas is fun.
Ideally.
It’s when we get to connect with old friends, family, maybe make new friends. It can be an incredibly nurturing time and full of genuine care and love. There’s nearly always an accompanying pressure though isn’t there? Like, how can I get to meet everyone? How do I choose who to meet? where to meet them? How do I tolerate the people I find difficult? How do I cope when I have to spend time with a person (or people) I usually avoid?
Part one: FREAKING OUT??
Happily I can tell you that’s quite normal. I myself have noticed the feeding frenzy out there. It’s very easy to get caught up in it. As I type I’m uneasily aware that I am leaving for Cork in an hour and am already preparing myself mentally for the mayhem. People will bump into me, glare at me, and if I’m not careful I’ll lose the Christmassy feeling that I have as my treelights twinkle and dance on the edge of my peripheral vision here!
An article caught my eye on The Good Men Project last week: 30 Ways to Make Yourself Miserable (Along with Everyone Around You). Good title isn’t it? It’s a wordy one though, and being a fan of the bottom line I decided to make a meme and share it here, with kind permission from Lion Goodman, the original author. He even posted it on his site which is nice. Thanks Lion!
This was published when I decided to resign from Barnardos and return to full time private practice as Counselling Psychologist and Psychotherapist in East Cork and Youghal.
The Dungarvan Observer is delighted to announce that Sally O’Reilly is returning her successful Private Practice to 5 full days a week. Furthermore, she is now taking referrals for children and families.
I wrote this over 15 years ago in response to a set of new advertisements on TV that in my opinion promote and normalize “age-related” cosmetic surgery for women. Both the Irish Examiner and The Irish Times published this.
I am a counselling psychologist working in private practice in Cork city and county. Last week a teenage client told me she was very upset because she could see ‘expression lines’ on her face.
I wrote this in The Irish Times in response to figures published 15 years ago (!! ) on rape in Ireland. I work with women and children who have been raped and sexually assaulted – it is something about which I feel very strongly. And as I read it today, the week of the Tuam babies revelations, International Women’s Day 2017, I find myself wondering if anything has really changed?
I was interviewed by the Irish Times for an article on The Silver Ring. I spoke here about my experience with, and my hope for the future of sex education for adolescents in Ireland. Alarmingly, this was over 20 years ago – have we copped on??
