Hello and thanks for visiting my site:
I am Sally O'Reilly, BA Psych, MA Couns Psych, MIAHIP, SIAHIP, MEAP. I work in full time private practice as a Counselling Psychologist, Psychotherapist and Supervisor accredited with the IAHIP (Irish Association of Humanistic and Integrative Psychotherapy, which is a member of ICP). I also hold the European Certificate of Psychotherapy from the EAP.
Ending a friendship can hurt deeply. For those of us who have experienced this particular brand of hell we know that losing a friend can be more complex and more difficult to recover from than the loss of a romantic relationship.
And sometimes (most times?) it is the best way to develop a deeper understanding of our needs and wants, and can therefore be the first step towards developing healthier, more fulfilling friendships than ever before.
Once we're done grieving.
Here I look how to recognise the sign of a toxic friendship, one you would do well to escape. Because just as we can walk away from a romantic partner when we are unhappy, we can also walk away from friends that aren't good for us. And just as with romantic partners, apart from the odd gut feeling niggle, we may not fully realise we're involved with toxic people until we really allow ourselves to think about it.
I first posted this piece on sister site TwoWiseChicks.
Did you know that friendships have an average shelf life of 7 years?
The ones that last longer are the deeper friendships that are truly nourishing and good. They are worth your investment, because the joy, fun, trust, encouragement and support outweigh the irritations, the upset, the clashes (which are normal). Even if you rarely actually see eachother!
I often hear people jokingly say "Aaah I have a touch of the SADS". We moan about the greyness of winter, the early nights, the short days. We say it affects us, but does it really? Here's an article that explores the phenomenon of Seasonal Affective Disorder, or SAD. This post was written by a fellow psychotherapist Joseph Burgo and appeared on Fix.com here.
I often hear people jokingly say "Aaah I have a touch of the SADS". We moan about the greyness of winter, the long nights, the short days. We say our mood is 'dark', we hope for light 'to be shed' on things, we long for something to brighten our mood, we talk of Winter dreariness. We say it affects us, it's built into our language. But does it really affect us?READ MORE
Every New Year's Eve millions of us resolve to do something differently and for many of us ends in remorse, guilt and loss of hope. Familiar? Here are (some of) my thoughts on resolutions and how to make one that will stick.
It's New Year's Eve again! When I was fifteen and an avid science fiction fan (still am) I couldn't wait for 2015 to see what kind of technology we'd have. That is if I made it to 2015 of course. I figured I'd be lucky to live past 25 - that was very old…READ MORE
Well there are just a few days to go and the excitement (and stress) are mounting with every minute! How are you doing? What are you doing for yourself these days?
Do you find Chiristmas tiring? Do you get ratty, snappier than usual? more emotional? or even sick at this time of year? I've experienced that, and I believe it's our bodies' way of saying 'Y'know what? I exist too, there's only one of me, so pleeease mind me".
Here is my third post of the three part Christmas Sanity series: my tips for you to mind you.
We all think of Christmas as a time for giving to others. And that's nice, it really is, but when did you last give to yourself? Not necessarily a material gift, but time to yourself or with a rarely seen loved one, fun, nurturing things?
We often forget about ourselves and fret instead about the people we love. Are we not allowed to love ourselves?
(Yes we are!).READ MORE
The social part of Christmas is particularly challenging for many of us. The ideal is that we call meet beloved friends and family and relax, laugh and celebrate. The reality though can be very, very different. Christmas can be a time when we find ourselves in company we'd rather avoid, and at its worst, Christmas is a time when abuse escalates. In this post I want to give you tips on how to manage the social (and antisocial) side of Christmas.
So here's part two of guide to staying sane for the holidays (part one here)
The social part of Christmas is fun.
Chritmas is nearly upon us and the stress is mounting for many. I've noticed that despite the genuine feelgood aspect of this time of year, it's also a deeply painful time for many of us, or maybe for all of us, for at least some of the time. All emotions are heightened, love, grief, anxiety, excitement. I've decided this year to write three seperate sections looking at the different "flavour" stresses. This dividing into three was an idea hatched by my friend and colleague Tanya - my partner in crime on TwoWiseChicks.
I sincerely hope you find it helpful.
Part one: FREAKING OUT??READ MORE
One of the most common complaints we all have is anxiety. Anxiety is a feeling, like fear, that we experience often. In this post I'm going to talk about anxiety produced by worry, and how to deal with that. We worry a LOT! This is a 5 step way to change how you worry - not stop, rather change. Key to tackling worry is to understand that worry is a behaviour, not a feeling. It's something we do. We tend to worry destructively, this is a way to do it contructively. Read on and see what you think:
Fear and anxiety are two emotions that cause a lot of pain for us humans. Sometimes it's useful to be afraid (like yes! you should definitely get away from that oncoming train). Oftentimes though, it's of no real use. (That teacher probably won't actually kill you for missing that essay deadline).READ MORE