Tag Archives: Parenting

Parenting through a divorce or separation

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“Maybe you saw it coming, maybe you’re in shock. Either way, a separation is extraordinarily painful, even if it’s also a relief.

Sanity and loss aside, your worries will quickly turn to your kids – How will they cope? How will this affect their future relationships? Will they hate you or your spouse? Perhaps themselves? How will things change financially? How will things change?”

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Coping with Loss at Christmas

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Christmas, warm, fuzzy and fun as it is, can also be painful, lonely and sad. For many of us it’s all of these things together, swinging from one to the other, day to day, hour to hour.

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This piece is dedicated to those feeling loss around this time of year – particularly parents of younger children. Another piece will follow soon for younger people themselves. Sign up over on the right there to get an email from me when that’s posted (or scroll down to underneath this post if you’re on your phone) Don’t forget to check your junk mail to complete the sign-up!

 

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Bring true Christmas spirit into your family – with Santa’s help!

Photo Credit Ina Fassbender/Reuters
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Recently, in my local post office,  I found myself on the brink of boredom in a seasonably long queue. But then I noticed a bunch of excited kids clutching their Santa letters – maybe their first ever letter – maybe buying their first ever stamp! Such cuteness! The atmosphere was electric, the excitement deliciously contagious. I found myself smiling, I could practically smell the Christmas pudding… (more…)

Christmas Crazy Yet?

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Less than four weeks to go folks! (I know, I know… sorry..)

Some of us are excited, some of us are sad, some in dread. It’s a tough time, and the only time when we collectively expect ourselves to put on a sparkly show of joy and merriment. That’s a lot of pressure.  (more…)

Hello Guilt, my old friend…

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I’ve been meaning to talk about guilt for some time now.

Guilt is a feeling that is familiar to most of us – some more than others of course. And I find  that it’s something that comes up in therapy a lot. We in Ireland just love our guilt – we are literally born with the stuff if we are Catholic, which most of us are.

But is guilt ‘good’?

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Is you child’s behaviour your responsibility?

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“Genetics and epigenetics are important. Decisions – they are more important.” – HaleyBop

I’ve been pondering recently about the phrase “the apple never falls far from the tree”. We tend to have a lot in common with our parents of course – they are among the first to teach us how to be people! Assuming that the apple never falls far though isn’t always helpful. Sometimes it does fall far though – very far!

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How to discipline more effectively

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I have a bit of a fascination with the origins of words. As I grew up every new word I asked about was explained to me by my mother in terms of its origin – origin, from the Latin ‘Origo’, meaning beginning, source, rise. You get my drift…

The word ‘discipline’ originates from the Latin to teach, or instruct. When the Middle English folk came along it morphed somewhat into the punishment, ‘mortification’ scourge flavour we are more familiar with today.

Falling on deaf ears

Falling on deaf ears

And I find that the words discipline and punishment (from the French Punir meaning rough handling) are often used interchangeably. Which isn’t a great thing, because we now know that punishment isn’t necessarily a good way to discipline. So I prefer the original meaning of discipline, it’s more effective as a means of changing or adjusting behaviour in the long term. FAR more effective.

So I wrote a piece on the (real life and practical) differences between discipline and punishment, with some ideas on how to do the former more effectively.

You can read it here and I hope it’s helpful!

Sally O'Reilly Counselling & Psychotherapy

 

Where’s the “YAAAAAY!!”? Acknowledging & Managing Post-exam Stress

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So the exams are finally over and you’re thinking “Yay! Stress over!”

And it is for some, but for others a new and unexpected stress has just kicked in. It’s a little trickier than pre-exam stress, because the people around you might assume you are now the embodiment of Zen and relaxation, because technically the exams are over.

im-fine

I’m (not) fine!!

 

So you might feel a little less inclined to talk about it because at some level you believe you should be calm now.

But it’s OK, post-exam stress is absolutely normal, albeit unpleasant.

Let’s look at how to deal with it with some ‘Do and Don’t’ suggestions:

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