Hello Guilt, my old friend…

Share

I’ve been meaning to talk about guilt for some time now.

It just keeps coming up. I hear the word everywhere – don’t you? “Oh I feel so guilty now but sure I’ll eat less tomorrow…” or “Oh I can’t not go I’d feel awful “, “Addicted to Netflix? LOL – me too – guilty as charged!”

We’re joking, but we probably mean it. We feel guilty.

Continue reading

What’s a boundary anyway?!

Share

We’re trying to buy a house at the moment and there’s been a lot of talk about boundaries. It’s a word I just can’t seem to get away from at the moment! Maps, walls, elections, referendums, therapy … Clear boundaries are crucial to smooth transactions, good legislation, good mental health – the list is long. And gets longer the more you think about it!

Continue reading

Are we going on the lash today lads?

Share
Begorrah and Top o’the Morning etc – ’tis Paddy’s Day! (Sincerest apologies to those who hate calling it that and hate those phrases….)

Whatever you call it, it’s here – Woohoo!!!

Continue reading

Forget Resolutions – try these instead!

Share
When a journalist contacted me last year for some quick “Be happier by—” tips for a piece she was doing on the dreaded New Year’s resolution tradition I was not thrilled. I’m really not a huge fan of New Years’ Resolutions.
But then I thought well,  hmm… “Be Happier by -” That’s FAR better than “Be miserable, unrealistic and give up stuff I love up by – “.  And so I replied to her with a list, she wrote the piece and I thought – that’d make a nice little post on my own blog some day. Then in true New Year’s fashion, I forgot all about it!

Continue reading

“Not puréeing your loved ones – that’s the tricky part!” – Basil Fawlty

Share

OK, so a lot of us will be joining family for ‘The Dinner’. And for a lot of us that’s super cool and lovely and something we look forward to and truly relish.

For some of us though, that dinner is the most 'Hell' part of Christmas. Sitting with, eating with and spending time with people that drive us nuts, push our buttons, trigger us....at worst, we are sitting with people that are harmful. tweet to another dinner eater

Continue reading

Why I won’t sell vouchers for therapy

Share

First the super good news: people are asking for Christmas gift therapy vouchers again this year and I think that’s amazing. It’s a sure sign that mental wellbeing is being taken more seriously than ever before and that therapy is being normalised. When I first started out in private practice this was one of my dreams and honestly, I didn’t think we’d get here.

But here we are!

That said, I won't sell vouchers for therapy. And here's why: #therapyvouchers #therapy #selfcare #christmasgifts #boundaries #relationships Click To Tweet

Continue reading

Have you been hurt by an addicted parent?

Share

There’s a “syndrome” called ACOA – are you familiar with it? It means Adult Child of Alcoholic, or, as experience has taught me, Adult (or teen) Child of any Addict.

I came across it years ago, before I trained actually. Before I really understood what alcoholism was, or how common it is. I was lucky, I know.  Since then I’ve learned how the idea of ACOA as a collection of “habits” really helps to explain a lot of the thought patterns and behaviours that thousands of adults experience and struggle with every day – every hour maybe. And the people who love them struggle too.

Continue reading

How to choose the ‘right’ therapist for you (or your teen)

Share

Mental Health Week is here and I’m a very happy bunny. There is a real sense of ‘normal’ taking hold in Ireland and this is incredibly heartening! We are finally “getting” that not feeling OK is OK, that asking for support is OK. We are fostering  a ‘knowing’ that we have worth and that change is possible.

Shame-free, guilt-free change.

Continue reading

A mum’s letter to her sons: Don’t settle for consent

Share

I have a friend – well, I know and admire a woman who might yet be a friend –  and this morning I woke to find an email from her in my inbox, with a recording attached. She’s a journalist and normally an email from her means she’s writing a piece and is interested in my professional opinion on the topic. We’ve been back and forth-ing for a couple of years and, as you do, we’ve been rearranging the boundaries a little more each time.

Continue reading