“What caught him off guard though was that at some level he felt ‘programmed’ to bring conflict and drama into the relationship. Even where there was no evidence of cheating he suspected it. Even though he loved her free spirit he felt he should curtail it in case she ran off. Even though he admired her intelligence he found himself calling her stupid. When things were good he was waiting for something to go wrong – enjoying peace and fun felt alien and weird.So if it didn’t ‘go’ wrong, he’d make it go wrong.”
It’s a teeny weeny little word and yet it can be so hard to say! (unless you’re a toddler..)
I used to have a lot of trouble with this one – sometimes I still have trouble, truth be told. Why is it so hard?
For most of us saying “no” means riddling ourselves with guilt and being terrified of judgement. People who habitually say “yes” are approvingly described as “selfless” – like that’s a good thing. But is it really a good thing? (more…)
And could there be a formula for learning and teaching it?
It’s been quite an emotional year hasn’t it? No doubt this year brought with it its challenges on a personal level, and as for the macro level – it seems like many of our most talented people have died and left us reeling. My most shocking was Prince, you? And I’m all for the idea of cryogenically protecting David Attenborough until 2017 by the way..
Less than four weeks to go folks! (I know, I know… sorry..)
Some of us are excited, some of us are sad, some in dread. It’s a tough time, and the only time when we collectively expect ourselves to put on a sparkly show of joy and merriment. That’s a lot of pressure. (more…)
If Christmas is in your life, then you will be very familiar with the idea of writing a letter to the big bearded guy. Can you believe it’s writing-to-Santa-time again – already?!
Typically, young kids’ letters are checklists of ‘wants’, along with parent-nudged-politeness like “Dear Santa, hope you are well and have had a good year”, or “I hope Mrs Claus is well” and, ideally, a “thanks so much for last year’s gift I LOVE it! )”
I’ve been meaning to talk about guilt for some time now.
Guilt is a feeling that is familiar to most of us – some more than others of course. And I find that it’s something that comes up in therapy a lot. We in Ireland just love our guilt – we are literally born with the stuff if we are Catholic, which most of us are.
But is guilt ‘good’?
You’ve probably already heard about the new Calvin Klein advertising campaign. It’s worked, that’s for sure, in that Twitter and Facebook can’t get enough of complaining about it. And of course the pro-sexism and creepy factions can’t get enough of defending it and lashing out at people who recognise it for what it is – blatant sexist glamourisation of and dismissal of sexual harassment.
A few of weeks ago I and my friend and colleague on TwoWiseChicks asked our readers to tell us where in their lives they’d like some guidance. And they told us. So we’ve been busy!!
Make your bed!!
Now I know you’re not all teenagers reading this – and I have no wish to trigger memories of irritating parental demands, but I want you to make your bed.
And I have a really good reason for this. I believe you will feel better when your bed’s made.
It’s been something of a theme this month with client work, a sneaking sense of disorder, an un-ease. Maybe it has to do with settling back into an Autumn routine. A lot of us feel we are back to work, back to school, back to the damn Winter.