“What caught him off guard though was that at some level he felt ‘programmed’ to bring conflict and drama into the relationship. Even where there was no evidence of cheating he suspected it. Even though he loved her free spirit he felt he should curtail it in case she ran off. Even though he admired her intelligence he found himself calling her stupid. When things were good he was waiting for something to go wrong – enjoying peace and fun felt alien and weird.So if it didn’t ‘go’ wrong, he’d make it go wrong.”
It’s a teeny weeny little word and yet it can be so hard to say! (unless you’re a toddler..)
I used to have a lot of trouble with this one – sometimes I still have trouble, truth be told. Why is it so hard?
For most of us saying “no” means riddling ourselves with guilt and being terrified of judgement. People who habitually say “yes” are approvingly described as “selfless” – like that’s a good thing. But is it really a good thing? (more…)
It’s mid May already and we all know what that means…
It’s an incredibly stressful time for students. The reality is hitting – no doubt bashed in by the orals and practicals – and the panic will be well and truly setting in for many of you this week. Oh how I don’t envy you..
I think so yes. Because there are ways to argue ‘well’.
(Hint – sulking isn’t one of them – but we’ve probably all done it!)
And not only do I think it’s OK, I think it’s important.
This is the subject of my latest piece for the lovely folk over at Family Friendly HQ and you can read more by clicking the green button:
I hope you find it helpful and as always I am interesting in feedback and further suggestions!
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And could there be a formula for learning and teaching it?
So, here we are again. Today is the 108th International Women’s Day and while we have made huge strides in some areas, we have a very long way to go.
Much has been written in the lead up to today. And much of it grim. I won’t even go into the Tuam babies horror here. To mark the day I thought I’d post a compilation of important pieces about how women are (still) being treated in the 21st century. It’s not terrifically cheery reading so you might want to stop now. I understand, I really do.
Valentine’s day is here and for some, it’s not a rose filled mushy warm day. For some it’s just another day of surviving a relationship that feels difficult, or even abusive. It can be hard to know how to define abuse, and when we are ‘in’ an abusive situation, it can be hard to ‘see’ that it’s abusive. But you might have a niggling feeling, your friends or family may have expressed concern.