Category Archives: Relationships

Porn ain’t what it used to be!

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I was catching up on my Facebook messages earlier and this post sent to me by a friend really caught my eye. It’s a meme from one of those humour pages on Facebook. Judging by the comments it resonates with most people and they think it’s really funny! (It  is too –  I mean who hasn’t waited years for a plumber?!!)

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Self-care while caring for elderly parents

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I guess it’s my age, but I’ve noticed personally and professionally that caring for elderly parents is a common theme in life recently. Finding oneself in the unfamiliar role of caring for a parent has its rewards of course, but it can also be draining, isolating, saddening, even traumatic.

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Calvin Klein and the glamourisation of sexual harassment

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You’ve probably already heard about the new Calvin Klein advertising campaign. It’s worked, that’s for sure, in that Twitter and Facebook can’t get enough of complaining about it. And of course the pro-sexism and creepy factions can’t get enough of defending it and lashing out at people who recognise it for what it is – blatant sexist glamourisation of and dismissal of sexual harassment.

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How to rage less at your children

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I have yet to meet a parent who is the paragon of zen, calm, smiling, constantly colouring, playing football, baking, laughing… The reality is a lot grittier. There is lots of fun yes! Of course! And in between the fun times, there are some boring times, and then times where it can be a struggle to feel calm, especially if your child is challenging you and pushing your boundaries.

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The Revenge Porn debacle – and what we can do about it.

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Some people are saying that the allegations about UCD male students posting “revenge porn” in a Facebook group with over 200 members is ‘unbelievable’. And as it turns out, the allegations went unsupported, there is no first hand evidence to support the claims.

For so many though, the story was totally believable. Some people still believe it, thinking – well can’t the evidence be deleted? Isn’t there sufficient shame around sexuality and sex crime to prevent victims from coming forward when invited, encouraged even?

One major piece that this has highlighted for me is this question: what made this story so believable? And I feel it’s because this happens now, we all know it. For any of us to say otherwise at this point is somewhat naive.

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Does your relationship need a health-check?

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“Is our relationship healthy? Is it normal? Are we OK?”

These questions come up all the time in therapy – actually, if you’re lucky, they come up over coffee with friends! You’ve maybe had those conversations, praying that your friends will say “Ya! – we fight more than you do actually – you have it sown UP compared to us!”.

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There’s something your teen isn’t telling you..

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Well.. Ok.. there are probably many things they are not telling you but there’s one in particular we’re talking about here.

One of the benefits of having an almost crystal clear memory (of the horrors) of being an angst-ridden teen is that it helps when you’re an adult to empathize with teen concerns.  And whatever your role, parent, teacher, therapist, when you’re trying to help,  empathy is far more useful than irritation, helplessness, anger or frustration (speaking from personal experience, that is). You’ll probably be familiar with those feelings..?!

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Do you know what you need to be happy?

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It’s always nice to hear from a previous client.

As therapists, we have a privileged opportunity to share a precious part of our clients’ journey through pain, crisis, vulnerability – but we usually do not get to hear about the “what happened next?”. Often, after the work is ‘done’, our minds wander back to our clients and we can only hope that things are going well.  Hope that our relationship however brief, had some positive influence, that they are happier now. (more…)

What’s worrying teenagers? (In their own words)

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This is Suicide Prevention Month 2015, indeed as I type this it’s World Suicide Prevention Day. Twitter is alive with useful information and resources, talks and seminars are taking place all over the world – and it’s great. And for me, every day should be suicide prevention day.

I listened to Dr Harry Barry speak today about how to reach our young people before they consider suicide. It was great to hear someone echo my thoughts, and those of my fellow professionals. Prevention is key.

Bottom line: we need to “get to” children before they start down the road of hopelessness.

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