I am a Counselling Psychologist, Psychotherapist and Clinical Supervisor with almost twenty years' experience. I run a full-time private practice in two locations with a special interest in working with adolescents. I also enjoy blogging here and I co author TwoWiseChicks.com with a friend and colleague. I'm also privileged to also write for Voiceboks.com and contribute to other web, print and radio media.
It’s been pretty harrowing listening to today’s coverage of the case of domestic violence that culminated in the murder of a young mother. The man, who strangled his wife and allegedly threatened to kill her on more than one occasion is pleading guilty to manslaughter, not to murder. That’s one issue I have with this case.
The real issue I have, closely related, is that nature of his reasoning – he says he was ‘provoked’.
It was a glorious September morning. I had just had a great run, finished my physio homework pain-free and was pretty much on a high as I left the gym to drive to work in Youghal. As I prepared to turn right at the gate, a silver Audi approaching from my left, turned right into the gateway cutting across me. I slammed on the brakes narrowly preventing a nasty collision.
I’ve taken up running again (grateful nod to the best physio in the world), and to keep me company I’ve downloaded hours of nerdy sciencey podcasts – and it’s brilliant!
My current addiction is “You Are Not So Smart” – it’s super informative and one doesn’t have to be a scientist or academic to ‘get’ it. And it has this way of helping you to understand that a lot of what you thought you knew is wrong – or at least has been improved upon. If only I could force all the world leaders to subscribe … AND it’s free! ( As I’m here I also recommend 99% Invisible and The infinite Monkey Cage which is very funny as well as fascinating).
You’ve heard about Manchester of course. 22 dead as I type, including kids. Kids for God’s sake. At a concert, having fun, then literally – boom.
You may have teared up like I did when you saw the photo of the first victim identified – a sparkly happy photo taken of her with her idol Arianna, the same idol she watched last night. How I hope she enjoyed it.
“What caught him off guard though was that at some level he felt ‘programmed’ to bring conflict and drama into the relationship. Even where there was no evidence of cheating he suspected it. Even though he loved her free spirit he felt he should curtail it in case she ran off. Even though he admired her intelligence he found himself calling her stupid. When things were good he was waiting for something to go wrong – enjoying peace and fun felt alien and weird.
So if it didn’t ‘go’ wrong, he’d make it go wrong.”